#he's choosing to live as peacefully as he can and it's kind of terrifying when he drops that persona

[raayllum]

Now, TDP doesn’t do this often, but occasionally they will overload character dynamic(s) with like, enough overt symbolism / association in order to centralize a third character’s arc. Think Janai with Amaya and Karim in S4. Karim represents Janai’s uncertainty, pointing out some of the inner thoughts she’d rather ignore and her people’s rising ‘concerns’ shown through dialogue. We also see this more discreetly with scenes like Janai taking off her crown as soon as Karim is in frame, and she spells this out for us in 4x09: “But I am uncertain, I am afraid. That’s why I thought maybe you and I... we could leave. Go live peacefully in Katolis. At least Karim would lead the people with some kind of certainty.” 

Karim represents one path she can choose, the arguably easier, safer path she could choose. And Amaya doesn’t quite represent the other one as clear cut (S4 requires some of her own steadfastness to fade in order for her to grow, too) she is the main proponent as she signs, “Forget Karim. This is not about him. What life do you want?” and expresses that Janai doesn’t have to choose between a life with her and a life as queen: “Just have two cakes.” 

With that in mind, let’s talk about 

Aaravos and Rayla as Callum’s Two Paths in S4 Beyond (+ Bonus Claudia in S2)

Season 4 takes literally every chance it has to emphasize Aaravos and Rayla’s thematic opposition of each other in Callum’s life, as well as the according parallels that come with it (down to having two separate scenes in which people think he’s going to talk or is talking about Rayla, and he’s actually discussing Aaravos). Callum is “the best thing [she] ever had.” He’s Aaravos’ “favourite,” a human mage tainted by darkness like all the others he’s dried up over the years. Rayla herself is the one to primarily identify this usage. Her own description of Callum in the past has also mirrored this one (minus the magic). 

Z: Aaravos could offer them access to the great mysteries of the universe. [...] Yes, mages were his prey.

She is also the one whose arrival turns Callum away from the mirror - away from the darkness - and toward the light. I don’t think I have to explain the symbolism too much on that one, especially not with Rayla’s letter also in mind: “Making hard choices and going to dark places is an act of love. It’s a gift. So please, let me give you this gift, Callum. Stay safe, and stay in the light” as well as Callum’s reflections from the S2 novelization in 2x08: “What sort of primal could glow in this dark place?”

However, if Rayla is the Light to Aaravos’ darkness (ignoring the cube on her shoulder for a second), what does that tangibly mean? Well luckily, 4x07 also spells this out for us pretty directly in tandem with 4x04. Rayla is the first to react to Callum’s possession, gasping; she’s the one who reaches out to Callum when he goes on his knees, backing down when his eyes are black in shock; she’s also the one who catches him once the possession fades. “Already tainted by darkness,” Aaravos claims, gloating over his control both literally in the present and in the future, “and destined to play right into my hands.” Aaravos is confident he’s going to win the game he’s playing. 

Callum reiterates this in 4x05 to Ezran and in 4x07 to Rayla.

C: You know, when he took control of me and used my whole body like a puppet? [...] When Aaravos possessed me at the Storm Spire, I felt so weak and out of control. I was his puppet. I’m not afraid that he’ll hurt me. 

(Perpetually screaming about the way it cuts back to Rayla solely when there’s the “Or hurt people I care about” line, but moving on.) 

So Aaravos represents Control and a pre-chosen Destiny. These things are terrifying to Callum, who has always prioritized and chased after strengthening his capacity to choose - and to choose how he contributes. Luckily, Rayla likewise spells this out and reminds Callum of it as well. If Rayla is his light, she represents his Agency. 

Not without her faltering (leaving in TTM and leaving him behind in other occasions) but agency and choice is largely what she’s always encouraged for Callum, down to agreeing to get his cube in 1x04 and being the first one to see his potential as a mage in the first place, which Callum acknowledges. 

This is why it’s so important that she rejects his request first hand in 4x07. Callum is so scared he’s trying to remove agency from his own hands by putting it (and his life and death) into hers, but that’s just going to exacerbate the problem. Rayla keeps on reminding him that his agency is in his own hands and how strongly he used to believe that: “Callum, you’re the ‘destiny is a book you write yourself’ guy.” And Callum to his credit tries to follow through on her advice by dropping the Key of Aaravos into the lava; he’s just currently unable to go through with it / to let go of it. 

And I also think it’s entirely intentional that Rayla is the one he’s asking to do this for. Not only in the layers it gives their interpersonal dynamic and understanding of each other, but specifically in the way it’s deliberate for future plot lines, set up, and payoff: if the crew wanted to, they could’ve had Ezran go with Rayla in 4x05, leaving Callum and Soren alone. Callum could’ve asked Soren, a crownguard sworn to protect Ezran and who has done so even when it means killing his family, to kill him instead, but Callum didn’t. The crew didn’t. They chose to orchestrate it like this. 

And, not to mention, they’ve done similar things with Rayla and Callum like this before, all the way back in S2. 

Claudia and Dark Magic

Now, S2 and S4 are very similar in the emotional arcs they give the bulk of the cast, especially Claudia and Callum in particular. Hardly anyone’s emotional arcs (outside of Callum’s sky arcanum) are resolved in S2, merely they are built upon and then driven further to provide a broadening and resolution (for now) in S3. I expect S5 to follow a similar pattern of resolving quite a few things, even if it will leave others disastrously open ended (especially if Aaravos gets out by the end of S5). 

But I’m getting off topic. Claudia in S2 very much represents one path Callum could take: he could choose to go home and sacrifice the mission, which he cites as being “the hardest thing we’ve ever done” as well as “the most important thing we’ll ever do”. He’s just learnt that primal magic without a primal stone is a nigh impossible path for him, and so Claudia offers her friend an alternative, encouraging his path as a mage in the worst way.

Callum returns to the dark magic book, literally and metaphorically, in 2x07. Seeing an old sketch of Claudia with her tome is what sparks the idea that dark magic is how he can help save Rayla in 2x07 (“I want to go down there with you and be the heroes who stop all the fighting, but I can’t do that! I can’t do anything”) in the wake of feeling helpless/useless. Then he uses her book outright to complete the spell. What he wasn’t willing to do for himself or his own ends, he’s willing to do to protect a loved one.

While, just like in 4x02, Rayla literally turns Callum away from his former path / friend / love interest. This is her mirroring Callum’s own choice of choosing her over Claudia - both in who to ultimately trust when it came down to the wire, but even as a future romantic partner. Not only in the scene on Phoe-Phoe in 2x03

but also literally within the pages of his sketchbook and future spellbook that, as stated, lead to the decision of him doing dark magic in the first place. Rayla, despite being a representation by and large of Callum’s path as a primal mage, is the hinge that causes him to chase it down on her behalf anyway and in spite of the fact he knows she would hate it.

By the end of S2, specifically 2x08 The Book of Destiny, it seems pretty clear that Callum’s has firmly shut down a more active pursuit of dark magic, with his infamous, “No, I get to choose who I want to be! Destiny is a book you write yourself!” and his subsequent connection to the Sky arcanum. Although 2x08 does give hints that Callum’s journey with dark magic and pre-written destinies is perhaps not entirely laid to rest, as it features these shots, I might add:

Paths Converging

Okay, so Callum was given choices represented by Claudia and Rayla in S2, refusing the temptation and possibility of being a dark mage, and thereby subsequently choosing Rayla. Now he’s being given two paths - one in light and one in shadow - in S4.

But without the same merits of temptation (at least for now) which is probably why Aaravos outright possessed him to begin with; Callum may need a different manipulation playbook than Aaravos’ other pawns. Okay, great? What does this all mean, though? Or least, what could it possibly mean?

Remember how I said Aaravos and Rayla are put in thematic opposition to one another for Callum in S4? Yeah - here’s where the symbolism gets a bit muddled, because Rayla shows up with the cube of Aaravos on her shoulder, glowing and pointing downward. In the first 3 seasons, the Key was more often shown with the Star primal at various angles, not necessarily right side up (the primal symbol itself) or upside down (Aaravos’ symbol). But that changes at certain key moments, specifically once the Key is aligned with Aaravos, and how all the runes are shown to be upside down in the dark magic dream. 

If Rayla showing up is truly meant to just be agency, then why have the cube - the same cube featured in Callum’s 4x04 intro, directly linking it to Aaravos’ control of Callum in some capacity - on her shoulder at all? And even if you’re like “well, they wanted to make sure you’d notice Stella making it glow,” the cuddlemonkey could’ve picked it up and not gone directly to Rayla’s shoulder, disassembling the shot. Or they could’ve, y’know, had Rayla with the cube on her shoulder right side - agency side - up. But they didn’t. 

This goes back to the Light and Dark dichotomy with both being represented by Aaravos. Dark isn’t always clear cut bad (just look at Claudia’s hair) and light isn’t always clear cut good (the cube flashing a bright light as Callum’s transformation into a literal pawn is completed). A chessboard has both black and white squares. Rayla’s explicit return, as said by Soren, is “kind of good and kind of bad.” Which brings us back to this exchange from the S1 novelization, as always, in which Callum and Rayla discuss moonberries and deathberries:

“So they look identical,” Callum said. “But they might kill you or they might save you.” “Exactly.” Rayla smiled. “Just like me.” 

Again, most of this points to Rayla saving Callum, and given that a large part of her clearly doubts her capacity to save anyone, anymore (“We can’t save everyone, Soren”) in ways that weren’t present in her youth, Rayla saving Callum from Aaravos’ brainwashing - Callum choosing her as his path, literally, over Aaravos, after all this foreshadowing, makes the most straight forward sense. Callum gets to choose and pick his own destiny (her) and Rayla gets to be restored as someone heroic who can save the people she loves (him, and possibly later on her parents). 

Which would be a perfectly happy ending - if we weren’t still on season five of seven. And if season four didn’t have a massive theme of resolving dichotomies, and reconciling dualities. 

Aaravos’ control extending past the ‘resolution’ of the brainwashing plotline would also make sense. There’s more dramatics / more at stake emotionally if Callum is in his right mind and plays into Aaravos’ clutches anyway. Even the awareness of his possible fate from the start, even escaping the brainwashing, wouldn’t be enough to escape his Destiny. It also emphasizes Rayla’s loss. She did everything she could to possibly protect him, including leaving and hurting for two years, and then she shows up right in time to watch herself be helpless to protect him all over again. How’s that for tragic?

Which is to say: I don’t think, ultimately for the next arc of the story, that choosing Rayla or Aaravos is mutually exclusive. I think whether it’ll be what leads Callum to Aaravos’ possession, or what follows after it, Rayla will be what causes Callum to fall (at least temporarily) into his clutches or carrying out his plans. Kill you or save you. Light and dark. Callum refused dark magic until he felt like he was backed into a corner in S2, and going to lose her. Callum is also likely going to almost kill her and his friends. If Rayla is surviving that, and saving him, why wouldn’t he also be saving her?

Two cakes, where you save and free the person you love more than anyone alongside the person you hate and fear the most, and what’s worse, is that you both simultaneously gave him the tools he needed to do exactly this all along. 

[incoherent-brainrot]

C6 [Briar Rose]

Rose is doing her best to circulate her spiritual energy evenly through the nerves of her body to maintain her human form. It takes an immense amount of focus, and she can only hope the smile plastered on her face is camouflaging her inner tumult. She gives Sage a wink; normally she’d never be so bold, but the way he’s currently staring at her is making her skin crawl. Why is he looking at her like that?

Rose tilts the basket of osmanthus blooms towards the crown prince. “Let’s make the sky-woman some osmanthus cakes. Humans who sought the hand of sky-women for worship often offered sweets like this.”

Rose hates talking about herself like this, like she’s an animal, but she has no other choice right now. She had gotten lucky to find an osmanthus in bloom after teleporting Sage back to the palace, luckier still that she seemed to have arrived before Sage could explain what he saw to the crown prince. The osmanthus could cover up her heat-scent, and then Rose could figure out a way to leave the island once her heat was safely over. Rose tries to force herself to relax, but the part of her that craves safety is screaming.

When Rose had first realized it was Sage in front of her at the sweetwater lake, she had felt relieved. What could possibly go wrong with simple, polite hunter Sage? Rose had imagined that he would see her monstrous feminine form, blanch, and either run away or faint. But instead, he had knelt and brought forth a binding crystal, affixed to Queen Afoemi’s elegant kudu horn. Rose listened to his plea for a binding vow, and Rose’s mind had gone smooth and blank like glass.

Rose had known that some tribes of humans had worshipped women of her kind. Often, it went hand-in-hand with choosing a human man as a mate. These sky-women would fall in love with a human man and bless his people with their feats of magic in exchange for living safely at a temple. Between the first and second Calamities, these unions were almost as common as human marriages. But when humanity brought forth the second Calamity, Rose’s people had been decimated attempting to protect their humans from destruction. Rose had been a freshly-weaned baby when the first bomb had fallen, but she could still remember the way her mother’s body crumpled under the weight of shielding her family from the impact. Rose’s remaining people had fled back to the wild, leaving humans alone to deal with the consequences of their apocalypse.

Rose had stared at the binding crystal, listening to Sage’s heartfelt pleas for a union he probably didn’t fully understand, and all she could think of was how stupid she had been. The immense folly of hers to think she could live peacefully among humans and never be discovered. For hundreds of years she had forced herself to live alone, to survive largely without using her magic, to avoid detection by her people or by humans who wanted to bring back sky-worship. But then she had come to this verdant little island, seen its humans struggle with the most basic tenets of survival.

First, she had simply brought more frequent rain, dancing among the clouds each new moon in reckless abandon. And she had not been caught. Then she had secretly started planting medicine or vegetable patches close to the palace. And still, no one had found her. And when she had seen the sorry state of the current crown prince, a bundle of weak limbs and fragile skin, Rose couldn’t help herself. Maybe it was an internal flaw in every sky-woman, the need to care for things smaller and softer than oneself. Maybe it was just a flaw inside Rose, her own way to assuage her guilt for abandoning her people. Regardless, she had descended from the mountain in her human form, dangling medicinal wine from a dozen gold gourds. The first few days had been terrifying, always on edge, always worried someone would question her habits or stumble upon her bathing place and see who she really was. But for ten springs no such thing had ever happened. That had made her overconfident, sloppy.

And now there she was, kneeling with Sage at her sweetwater lake, feeling the world stop spinning as she looked at his upswept amethyst eyes full of awe and aching want for her. Rose had thought briefly about crushing his face as she held it in her hands, of solving the problem in the easiest way possible for her. But her heart grew wings when Sage looked at her, even if he didn’t realize this was the same Rose he always stole longing glances at in the palace. Rose had genuinely felt her heart break when Sage panicked at being rejected from a binding vow; but how could she tell him the truth? It would surely kill his gentle heart.

Rose had sent Sage hurtling through space back to the palace, and decided she would return too. Traveling to a new island while in heat was basically asking to be harmed, so she needed to find a way to stay safely on this island until her heat was over. If “human” Rose disappeared after Sage told the crown prince about the sky-woman, it would be obvious what had happened and Rose would be hunted down. Rose decided she would “help” the crown prince lure the sky-woman back out with time-consuming offerings, and Rose would “deliver” the offerings under the guise of her knowledge of sky-folk as a medicine-woman. Rose honestly didn’t think she was that good of a liar, but she had to spend as much of her heat safely tucked away on this island as she could.

The crown prince’s voice jolts Rose back to the present moment. “Miss Rose, that’s an excellent idea!” The crown prince looks almost viciously joyful as he bounds over to Rose on his walking crutches. Rose giggles and tries her best to seem joyful and excited, instead of in pain and nervous. Rose had expected a warm reception from everyone when she returned, but instead Sage was staring at her as if wishing to set her aflame by look alone.

“Let’s get to the kitchen then, baking osmanthus cakes takes patience and plenty of time.” Rose goes to take the crown prince by his arm, but Sage suddenly gets up.

“Wait. Miss Rose, can you free me from these ice-shackles?” Sage’s voice has a weird, almost metallic quality to it, as if he’s suppressing something. Rose looks at him and feels her ears burn with shame as she sees her blood staining the waist of his robes. She sees her own ice-shackles around Sage’s wrists and ankles and bites back the urge to cry.

“I’m sorry. That looks painful. Let’s have a guard carry you to the hearth while the prince and I cook. The heat there will melt those bonds.” Rose gives Sage a small smile, hoping that being her usual soft and easygoing persona will get Sage back to normal. Sage, however, narrows his eyes at her. Rose feels fear bloom in her belly. “Sage?”

“It’s nothing. I simply thought a medicine woman of your caliber would know of magic to simply break these.” Sage looks away, his jaw clenched. Rose can hear his teeth grinding.

Blood rushes to Rose’s face in shock. Sage has never spoken to her in such an underhanded and cruel way. Was he upset because of the chocolate drink earlier? Rose feels tears sting the corners of her eyes and she looks away. “I’m sorry. My magic is about plants, not water.”

The crown prince notices the tension and he puts himself between Rose and Sage. “It’s fine, Miss Rose. Hunter Sage is just overwhelmed. I…overreacted to a dream I had of you, and sent Sage to find you. I caused a lot of overexertion. I’m sorry.” The crown prince looks at Rose and she smiles gently at him as she guides him to the kitchen. A set of guards is carrying a sullen Sage behind them.

“Don’t worry. Extraordinary events make all of us act differently. But I think we can attract the sky-woman into a pact just fine if we follow the old tenets.” Rose hopes she sounds convincing. Sweat is starting to bead on her skin from the stress of maintaining her human form while in heat. She focuses on the smell of the osmanthus, on the beating of her own pulse in her ears. One lie at time until her heat is over.

Rose busies herself in the kitchen, allowing the crown prince to get seated comfortably so he can help her process the osmanthus blooms. Sage sits near the open mouth of the hearth, his purple eyes still glaring at her. Rose feels her insides prickle at the sensation of being glowered at. “Sage, I’m sorry for the trick I pulled with the chocolate medicine earlier. I just thought you needed rest.” Rose calls this over her shoulder as she pulls up water from the well.

Sage doesn’t answer. Somehow, this makes Rose feel worse. Sage had always been gentle and polite with her, hyper-aware of his station despite his clear affection for her. Now he was being brusque and almost hostile to her specifically; was this really just the turmoil of the last few hours?

Rose can’t stop to think about it. She and the crown prince start working together to wash the osmanthus petals. Rose starts keeping count in her mind of the passing minutes, then hours. She chatters to the crown prince idly during this time, and doesn’t say anything when Sage finally joins them in plucking the petals from the branches. Rose can feel anger simmering just under Sage’s skin, and it makes her amygdala jolt with neurotransmitter. Maybe she should’ve fled when she had the chance.

Finally, just as the moonlight is filtering in through the window, Rose adds the last of the osmanthus oil to the steaming pot of glutinous rice. She wipes the sweat from her brow. “Well, that was a good afternoon of work. Let’s rest now.”

Rose is about to turn to the crown prince when Sage blocks her way. Rose suddenly feels a flash of fear, a cold splash of water to the face. In the next moment, she feels anger. Why is she still afraid of a human hunter, so many centuries later? She had destroyed his gun; what was a hunter without it? “Sage?”

“Prince Auguro is asleep. Let him rest.” Sage whispers this, but he gets too close to Rose for her comfort, looming over her. She wants to transform, but she swallows down the knot in her throat. Rose feels herself crying, and her guts go slack with how ashamed she is of herself. She stumbles backward until her and Sage are in a hallway, her back against the wall. Rose senses her seams threatening to pop again, and she covers her left eye as pain blooms behind the optic nerve.

“Sage, I never meant to offend you earlier with the—”

“How could you lie to all of us? For so long!?” He hisses at her, and Rose feels her heart pound. Sage stops himself before he grabs Rose’s arms, but Rose flinches back in shock anyways. Sage redirects the motion and pulls his own hair, tears flowing down his face. When he breathes out, his breath is like steam.

“What are you talking about?” Rose can’t believe her ears, or her eyes. Sage breathes out steam again, billowing clouds from his mouth and nose as he vents built-up spiritual energy. “Sage, I think you’re confused. I was out picking osmanthus—”

“Don’t gaslight me!” This time Sage kneels down and grabs Rose’s hands, pulling her down to the floor with him; this makes Rose’s spiritual energy flare in panic. She can feel her human form start to dissolve. “I know what you are. You can change your form but you can’t change your scent.”

<<I’m trapped again. It’s been eight hundred years and I’m trapped again by a hunter and he’s going to push me down and—>> Rose tries to pull away as her human body melts away and her natural form billows forth like petals unfurling from a flower. Rose moves to leap away, to flee to safety some where she doesn’t have to feel Sage’s eyes boring into her.

But Sage catches her and pulls her into a tight hug. Rose freezes like a baby deer in the grass, not comprehending any of what is happening to her. Sage knows what she is, can smell her heat-scent, but he’s just…hugging her?

Sage’s tears are warm as they spill onto Rose’s back. His fingers dig into the velvety fur on her shoulders from how tightly he holds her, as if he’s trying to meld himself into her body. His body is trembling as he holds Rose as close as possible, practically pulling her into his lap. “Please. Answer me. What did we do to be denied your magic? What did I do wrong that you didn’t trust me to build your temple and worship your real form?”

Rose feels the air leaving her lungs in a wheeze. Her stomach folds in on itself, and the world won’t stop spinning. She tries to pull herself away from Sage, but he grabs her face delicately, holding her like he wants to kiss her. Their eyes meet, and Rose can see herself reflected in Sage’s eyes.

Rose would do anything in this moment to flee from that accusing amethyst gaze.

[not-delicious-milk]

word vomit but gintoki is how to do a character with a tragic backstory right. if you know about it, all his actions gain a new layer of meaning and complexity, but even if you don’t it’s clear that he’s affected by his past. but the thing is, gintoki doesn’t really dwell on it. obviously he thinks about it a lot and he just has straight up ptsd if the amount of flashbacks he has in openings means anything, but he doesn’t bring that baggage into the lives of shinpachi or kagura. he makes sure he’s well-adjusted enough to have a positive impact on their lives and tries to distance himself when he can’t do that. he uses his experience as a foundation to make damn sure this generation doesn’t repeat the mistakes that his made, and he doesn’t use it as an excuse to commit horrible acts or continue the cycle of violence.

i just. like, this man.., has every reason to turn against the world, to give up on relationships and people forever, but he doesn’t and he inspires people to take up that burden again and he comes from a place of understanding whenever he helps someone who’s fallen to the wrong path, and he’s also so so flawed because of it and can never really shake the shackles of his pain. there are so many mistakes he makes, so many shortcomings he struggles to overcome, but he’s trying and he doesn’t let himself be complicit or spiteful

unlike a lot of “tragic” characters i see who are just major assholes with sob stories tacked onto them to garner audience sympathy, gintoki is the sum of his experiences and a product of immense effort and growth. he doesn’t use his own tragic past as an excuse, essentially, but he also doesn’t shy away from acknowledging how painful it is.

gintoki makes me cry sometimes so

[goldensunset]

everyone always talks like the confrontation between naminé and recompleted lauriam & elrena is gonna be her chasing them down trying to attack them like a feral dog while they’re screaming the whole time and while i admit that’s funny

i raise you: lauriam is a kind and reasonable young man who can recognize when he’s messed up big time and needs to make amends. elrena is probably not as inherently nice but she would follow suit along with lauriam. naminé has like zero self esteem and would probably never even speak up about how she’s been wronged so terribly by someone, and she’s not a fighter in any way.

so i propose to you: they have like. a deal where lauriam offers to just let her punch him like once. really hard in the stomach or something. same with elrena. naminé gets one free shot of her choosing on each of them and then they’ll call it good and peacefully move on with their lives

alternatively. she does not want this. she asks for a large sum of cash in reparations. lauriam and elrena actually find this far more terrifying because they have absolutely nothing. they wish they could just have someone beat them up and call it good. they start panicking and naminé’s like oh geez i hope that’s not too unreasonable maybe i should back downNO. her friends make her stand her ground and keep the deal terms the same. naminé would probably apologize to you if you poured soup in her lap but the entire rest of her friend group are keyblade wielders who are more than willing to threaten lauriam and elrena a little bit

[sky-berrie]

How would the batboys react to a female SO with Paranoid Personality Disorder?

Hi there!

Thanks so much for the ask. I hope this is okay :)

-Sky

Bruce

As a person living with paranoid personality disorder, you might be terrified that people are out to harm you. Your place of residence, Gotham city, does nothing but exacerbate your paranoid thought patterns, since criminals run rampant through the streets. It’s hard to distinguish between paranoid thoughts and substantiated concerns. Is that sketchy person with the full face covering one of Black Mask’s False Face Society members sent to abduct you, or are they just a conscientious citizen taking extra precautions to avoid contracting or transmitting the COVID virus? Being in a state of constant fear prevents you from living your life to the fullest. Luckily, your S/O happens to be Batman in his free time.

Bruce eases your mind just with his presence. He’s probably the smartest, strongest, and most resourceful person you know and being with him makes you feel safe. Bruce is the kind of person who you’d blindly listen to during an emergency – if he told you to jump out of a burning plane, you’d do it without a second thought because he’s never let you down in the past and you’re confident that he never will in the future. If you’re feeling fearful in public, Bruce will grab your hand or put an arm around you securely and soothingly whisper in your ear that he’s right here and there’s nothing to worry about. Having paranoid thoughts means that it’s difficult to reason with you, so you probably aren’t convinced that there is no threat, but you do experience some relief from his soft touch and gentle words. He’ll ask if you want to leave and he’ll take you to your safe space. If you’re feeling fearful in private, Bruce will hold you close and rub your back to reduce your anxiety. If you’re by yourself and start to have those racing, panicked paranoid thoughts, you can always call Bruce. He’ll drop whatever he is doing and come take care of you.

Bruce will teach you self defense to help you feel more comfortable around people. He won’t arm you with any dangerous weapons because he doesn’t want an innocent person to get hurt if you get spooked. Bruce will ask if you want to move into the manor since it has strong security and comes with several vigilantes. If you would rather stay at your own place, Bruce will install a variety of safety systems to make you feel protected. He’ll even spend most nights at your place so you can sleep peacefully. Overall, Bruce is like your lifeline. He’ll know just what to do to help you through your difficult thoughts.

Dick

Dick is a social butterfly who’s had his fair share of romantic partners in the past so it’s natural for you to feel jealous when he spends time with other people. Dick will adamantly declare that he’s with you and only you. At first you might try to ignore the prickly feeling of jealousy because you don’t want to come off as a possessive S/O, but the clues accumulate and suggest that he’s cheating on you. For example, he’ll rarely spend the night with you. You’ll catch him sneaking into bed at ungodly hours of the morning. When confronted, he’ll make up an excuse that he just went to get a drink of water or use the bathroom. You’ll spot bruises scattered over his chest knowing you definitely did not leave those there. He’ll play it off as a gym injury.

When you raise your suspicions, Dick is hesitant to explain. You take this as confirmation of infidelity and you’re ready to walk out. At that point, he has no choice but to come clean about his secret identity as Nightwing. That sounds farfetched and you likely think he’s a pathological liar. Finally, Dick proves it to you and explains that he didn’t want you to be dragged into his dangerous nightlife. While you accept that as the truth, you’ll always wonder if he’s hiding more secrets. Furthermore, you’re probably pissed that he was gaslighting you. Dick will do everything he can to make it up to you. He’ll apologize profusely and in extravagant ways, be more transparent, and shower you with excessive love and affection. It might take a long time, but eventually Dick will worm his way back into your good graces.

It doesn’t take long for the green-eyed monster to rear its’ ugly head again. Now that you’re in the know, you’re hyperaware of the attractive vigilantes that Dick works with and it’s emotionally draining to be jealous all the time. You don’t want to be the type of person who tries to control their partner’s life, but when the suffering becomes too much to bear, you might ask him to stop seeing certain people. Dick will calmly assure you that there isn’t anything going on with any of his vigilante friends. If that doesn’t appease you, he’ll suggest that you hang out with the team and get to know them. He hopes that you’ll see that there aren’t any romantic feelings between them. Whatever you do, please don’t force him to choose between you and his hero life. It will tear him apart.

Jason

Trust is very important to Jason. He doesn’t trust many people as it is and needs a S/O who he can trust wholeheartedly and who will trust him in return. He believes that this relationship will fail if you don’t have confidence in each other. He’ll take it personally if you distrust him. Jason will get defensive and frustrated if you accuse him of being unfaithful, especially if you don’t have a shred of evidence to support your claims. He’ll be offended and deeply hurt that you think so negatively of him but once he’s had some time to cool off, he’ll be able to process everything more objectively. He’ll accept that you can’t control the way you feel. You’d explained it to him once that you do trust him, but there’s a separate voice in your head that tells you otherwise. Jason won’t give up on you though. He’ll come up with a proposition - he’ll agree to install a tracking app on his phone so you can monitor his whereabouts if you’ll promise to work on learning to trust him, whether it be via professional psychotherapy or reading self-help books.

On the other hand, if Jason is one of the only people you trust, he’ll be elated to know that you two have built such a strong connection. It’ll be easy to confide in him because he’ll gladly listen to your worried thoughts with no judgement. At first, he’ll reassure you that nothing bad is going to happen to you – he’s Red Hood and nobody is going to pull anything on you if they value their life. Eventually he’ll realize that trying to reason with you isn’t helpful so he’ll stick to active listening when you’re experiencing paranoid thoughts.

However, if Jason is fresh out of the pit and emotionally unstable, you two will probably bond over your mutual distrust and cynicism about the world. Although you and Jason will get along exceptionally well, it’s possible that your irrational thoughts may feed each other’s paranoia and exacerbate the feelings of mistrust and suspicion. If you find yourself unable to let things go, feel free to vent away when you’re with Jason. He is the king of holding grudges, so he’ll probably support you and even join in on trash talking that person with you when you’re angry. Learning to forgive and forget is something you and Jason can work on together. In a way, it brings you two closer together since you understand each other on a level that others can’t begin to comprehend.

Tim

Tim very compassionate and patient; however, he’s afraid of triggering you so he’s often walking on eggshells around you. He just wants to be the perfect supportive S/O for you and doesn’t want to mess up the relationship. His worst offense (in your eyes) is using ambiguous language that lends to multiple interpretations. For example, he might innocently compliment your clothes/hair/makeup and you might assume that he only likes you for your appearance or that he’s implying that you’re vain for wanting to look nice. The moment you shoot him daggers, he’s realized his mistake and starts to furiously backpedal. He tries to explain himself, but he usually ends up digging himself a deeper hole. Eventually, he gets better at expressing his thoughts carefully so that they can’t be misconstrued.

Tim diligently tries to learn your other triggers and how to help. When you’re stuck in a cycle of paranoid thoughts, Tim will get you to focus on what’s real instead of trying to make you see sense. He’ll help you relax by walking you through breathing exercises, playing soothing music, or whatever strategies you find helpful.

Tim isn’t proud of this, but he’s resorted to deceiving you when necessary. For instance, if you’re experiencing paranoid thought patterns and want to be alone, Tim will hesitantly leave, but he’ll probably secretly monitor you only because he’s worried about your safety. If you’re afraid that others are reading your mind, he might pretend that he invented an anti-mindreading helmet to ease your suspicions. He knows you would feel betrayed if you ever found out about his dishonesty, but he reasons that your safety and comfort are more important in the moment.

Damian

Arguments with Damian are brutal. No matter how insignificant the disagreement is, Damian refuses to back down when he believes he’s right. Paired with your own stubbornness and contentiousness, these quarrels generally result in an impasse. Eventually your anger subsides and the depression sinks in. You might assume that Damian doesn’t love you anymore and that fight was the end of your relationship. Maybe you start packing your belongings to move out right away. Damian comes up behind you and asks what you’re doing. When you tell him that you’re leaving because he doesn’t want you anymore, he’s instantly remorseful. He takes your bags out of your hands and proceeds to pull you in close as he tells you how much he loves you. He assures you that two people can disagree and still love each other.

Damian doesn’t want to argue with you and he certainly doesn’t want to see you upset so he’ll always excuse himself before the argument becomes too heated. He hopes that some time apart will allow you both to calm down and come to a compromise, but it’s never that simple. Most of the time, you’ll need a third-party mediator, like a therapist, to resolve your dispute. The act of seeking out a therapist will be a huge accomplishment for your relationship. Damian likes his privacy and doesn’t want someone else in his business and you might be afraid to share intimate information with a stranger in fear that it will be used against you. Nevertheless, you both want to make this relationship work, so you’ll continue to seek help.

Damian has a habit of being blunt. He doesn’t mean to criticize or insult you – in his mind, he is only stating the facts or his opinion for the purpose of helping you improve. Despite his goodhearted intentions, it’s easy for you to take his comments the wrong way and perceive it as a personal attack. If he sees that his remarks have upset you, he’ll acknowledge all the positive aspects of your performance. Still, you might cling to the disparaging comments and ignore the praise. Going forward, Damian will try to be more encouraging and constructive and will only express feedback if you invite him to do so.

[cheelduh]

How to tie up a cute boy

(Highschool Au)

Pairing: Childe x fem!reader

Parts: 1  2  3

Word count: 4K

Warnings: Swearing, Scaramouche abuse, no Signora slander this time, shit humour.

Synopsis: "Why are you doing homework?" Childe groans, rolling off to the side and kicking off the blanket to expose himself in nothing but a pair of boxers. "I'm literally right here, naked and defenseless. Why aren't you taking advantage of me?"

Note: Unedited yet again besties. Tysm for reading :) I got Childe after losing him to mf MONA, istg it was the most stressful moment of my life.

The clock ticks with its pendulum, ridiculing you as it holds the time. The gentle whirring of the air conditioning in the background serves as the icing on the cake to your pent up aggression.

You try not to glare at your phone too much after receiving a text from Childe that told you not to worry, that his dad picked him up and that he was in the comfort of his home, letting the flu blow over.

It took a lot of convincing from his part earlier that morning to get you to go back and actually attend the rest of your classes, making sure to check up on him every break plus the additional "bathroom breaks" you usually never take while in class.

"I can't let you get in trouble for me." He murmured with a small smile that pumped your blood a little faster than usual. "I'm fine, really. Don't worry your pretty little head."

You do exactly that.

You don't even know why you're so worried. He's sick, not dying. Not to mention, you aren't even his girlfriend let alone his friend to care so much. 

Your intrusive thoughts don't waste any time. You latch onto the one thought that takes over. He's probably dead. Lying in his bed in a heap of pillows, passing peacefully while his parents are in the other room. He's dead.

Okay, he's not dead. You intrusive thoughts sure do one hell of a job. He'll be fine, and in no time he'll go back to being a reckless distraction in your life that you need to surpass. Just another obstacle to add onto the list of things life has thrown at you.

But for an obstacle, he sure is kind of cute.

You refrain from bashing your head on the desk. School isn't really a preferred environment on your list of top ten places to shrivel up and die.

Speaking of death and all that is evil, why is Childe always on your mind? He takes up every nook and cranny of your day, constantly, and truth be told it's starting to boil your piss.

Every time you close your eyes you see his smug smile, and hear his stupid laugh. He's an annoying little prick who gets a rise out of exasperating you. Yet here you are, terrified by the warmth that blossoms in your heart when you so much as hear his name.

The final bell rings at long last, conveniently before you bite your tongue to avoid screaming, and not another second is wasted once you launch yourself out the door. You dodge through the crowd of students in the hall that are buzzing in excitement from it being a Friday afternoon, and you would be too if you weren't so damn hung up over a ginger with a battlekink.

Locker in view, you make a beeline and spend the next two minutes fumbling with the lock in your hands.

"Woah there cutie," Lisa speaks up playfully. "At this rate you'll break the poor lock with your bare hands."

For a moment you're surprised at her sudden appearance, but then remember that it's normal for her to worm her way anywhere.

"It's just—this lock is being dumb okay? It has no reason being a pain in my ass but it wakes up every day and chooses violence." You hiss through your teeth, a sharp metallic ring invading your ears when you lose it and jostle the combination lock against the door of your locker.

Lisa winces, but smiles teasingly nonetheless. "Want me to give it a try?"

"Please."

Lisa has the door open at record speed.

"I love you Lisa." You confess wholeheartedly, gripping at your chest. "I love you so much—"

"Yeah yeah," She waves you off with a grin. "Now hurry up and go save your boyfriend from the common flu. Archons knows he won't make the night."

You flush at the word "boyfriend" and don't give much thought to the insinuation that lies within the rest of her sentence.

Sliding your skateboard under an arm, you spin on your heel just to bump straight into Scaramouche, who's won the scowl of the century on his face. He's the last person you want to see right now, but apparently the universe wants to have a pissing match with you.

"Give this homework to that idiot Ginger." He shoves a stack of papers into you. "Tell him that once he's done circling the drain, I'm gonna kick his ass." He then leans in, murderous glint in his eyes. "And if you ever touch me again I'll take a shit in your cereal. That's not a threat, it's a promise."

You shiver at the thought of him squatting on your Cheerios, hands becoming clammy as you try and justify yourself. "It was an accident."

Your pitiful excuse earns you nothing from the navy haired boy. "It'll be an accident when I murder your entire family, three generations over."

"Hi Mona!" You wave excitedly over his shoulder at the body of students that are totally not Mona. With elation he fails to conceal, Scaramouche turns to look at the speed of light.

You take the chance to make your escape—not before waving to Lisa, chuckling to yourself. He's down bad.

With great expertise you file your way through the flock of students chattering near the entrance. , you confidently place your skateboard down on the sidewalk, ready to—

Wait—where does he live again?

You sigh heavily, ignoring the sadness as you thank the universe internally for pulling the reigns on your disastrous plan. Checking up on Childe at his house? With his family present? Making a complete fool out of yourself? What are you thinking? The possibilities are horrendous. He probably doesn't even think of you like that, he just likes a challenge and you pose as one.

You turn away to make a run for it in the direction of your home, all the while ignoring the nagging worry in your chest for Childe. He's probably fine anyways, you don't need to check up on him, and if you did he'd likely find a way to spin it and tease you relentlessly.

Although somehow, the thought of being teased by him isn't as dreadful as you'd like it to be.

Suddenly, an idea graces you, one that guarantees your misery by sating your obligation to check up on Childe. A litany of curses escape your mouth. Genius really, the amount of ways you can think of doing something that'll end in your demise.

"Adeptus Xiao." You whisper apprehensively, already regretting your decision. "Adeptus Xiao." Glancing around your surroundings, you barely notice the shadow that looms over you at your backside.

"What do you want mortal?" Unbeknownst to you, he strikes out of nowhere, making you jump back several meters. You manage to muffle a surprised shriek.

Xiao is Venti's -6 ft boyfriend, the vicious epitome of an eboy. He has a scaled tattoo covering up the majority of an arm, a few piercing holes in his ears, all matched up with a disinterested look. Somehow, he always appears out of nowhere if you call out his name. It's sort of disturbing in a way.

His amber eyes pierce through you, forcing a shudder of fear and dread to lace your blood, almost as if he can sense you shittalking him in your head.

With shaky hands, you ask, "Can you tell me where—"

"No."

"You didn't even hear me ou—"

"No."

"Please?"

He refuses to at least pretend to think about it for a moment.

"No."

"Why?" You frown, stomping your foot on the ground childishly.

"Because." He retorts with a lack of interest, but doesn't further explain his point. English teachers must love this kid.

"Okay," You say slowly, casually inspecting his form as you come up with an idea, briefly remembering Lumine mentioning it to you. "How about I give you my share on almond tofu Tuesday."

The lack of interest on his face wavers slightly. Bingo.

"What do you want mortal?" Xiao mutters gruffly, arms crossed, face morphing into subtle annoyance.

You wrack your brain for a proper answer. You can't just outright ask him or it'll seem like you have a thing for Childe, which you unfortunately do, but you'd like to keep a semblance of integrity. Ah yes, the homework!

"I gotta deliver these to Childe." You outstretch the pile of worksheets in your hands. "Except I don't know where he lives. Can you tell me?"

Xiao's eyes glint with danger. "Did you summon me for the trivial task of giving you an address?"

You nod furiously.

"Do humans have no shame?" Its rhetorical. Expressionlessly, he closes his eyes with intent focus, doing what you assume to be locating Childe's exact location.

He blinks an eye open, reaches a hand out. "Give me your phone." Palm waiting.

You hand it over to him almost desperately.

One glance at your bubbly phone case and he doesn't even try to hide his distaste. He taps a few times, then hands it back to you almost immediately.

On the screen is maps, and Childe's home is about a fifteen minute walk away.

Your jaw drops in disbelief. "How did you do that?"

"Easy," He mutters, leaning back against the school gate as the remainder of students walk past the two of you. "Locating demons that need subjugating is but a simple task."

There's a pregnant pause. Demon.

"Childe's a demon?" You gasp, even though you've always had your suspicions. Hence the reason you invest so much in demon-cancelling charms.

"What? No." He mutters with a roll of his eyes, and you note that his irritation grows the more questions you ask. "I had a physics project with him last semester."

That's why the charms don't work.

Your mouth forms an o, in fear that if you keep this conversation going on any longer, he'll snap at you. Especially when your next line of interrogation involves how he's able to appear and disappear into thin air.

It's a magic trick you'll want to master whenever Il Dottore has another conniption fit in the middle of the hallways after Kaeya tells him he looks like he has skid marks.

"Thank you." You say instead, trying to preserve his regard, but by the time you meet his gaze he's already gone with the wind.

—

Childe's home is surprisingly humble, considering the amount of fat stacks of cash he carries around in his fanny pack so care-freely. It's a normal suburban home from what you can tell, a little bigger than normal with a double garage, neatly mowed lawn and a few forgotten decorations from the windblume festival. A series of water guns lay forgotten near the entrance, making their presence known when you stumbled upon them.

It's hard to remain unphased. Especially since such a normal looking home has bred someone as ruthless as Childe.

Maybe it not the home, you think. Maybe it's the way he was raised. You recall a few glimpses of his mother in middle school, but because of your worse for wear memory retention, you can't ballpark her personality type.

As your thoughts wander further down to his parents and early childhood, villain origin story and what not, you're pulled out of your concentration when the door opens. The possible implications of being here are most definitely not in your favor.

Childe's mother is a stunning woman in her mid-forties who sure as hell doesn't show it in that jaw-dropping sapphire dress, topped off with a brilliant smile that makes your knees weak. Like mother like son, you suppose.

With her sudden appearance, strangely enough, you can remember how good her tiramisu bites are.

You take a moment to respond, swallowing thickly, only to stare at her stupidly.

His mother doesn't waste another second before ushering you in, oblivious to your star-struck expression. "Y/N? L/N Y/N? My have you grown. I remember when you were only this tall." She lifts her hand up a little above her waist, the jewels on her fingers dazzling with every movement. "How is your mother doing?"

"She's doing alright, busy with the clinic." You're able to find your words, smiling back at her, able to get somewhat familiar with her warmth. "I hope I'm not intruding. Childe forgot some homework." You say, heaving the short stack up.

"Ajax?" She laughs, shaking her head in disbelief. "I can't believe he's going by that now. I wonder when this phase will be over. He may act tough but he's such a softie, has the biggest heart."

You, in between concealed emotions and giggles that threaten to leak, try to hide the oncoming grin but it's impossible. "Well he's got you to thank for it."

"You flatter me too much Y/N," She fixes the up do, pinning back the blonde hair that deftly frame her familiar cerulean eyes. "I can see why he can't stop talking about you."

Her words make you waver momentarily. The fondness you've refused to share, the drawn out stares in the halls, the lingering touches, you don't want to acknowledge it but it's there. Whatever it is.

"I'm so sorry for cutting this short dear," His mother sighs, grabbing her keys off the counter and placing her wallet in an elegant handbag. "My niece is getting married and we're already late. I told Ajax I'd stay if he didn't feel too well but he said he could handle a headache. That boy, I swear, always tries to power through."

You nod in understanding, but wait a minute. A headache?

Scrunching up your face, eyebrows furrowed, you ask. "Headache?"

She frowns, applying another layer of her rouge lipstick hastily in a nearby mirror. "I know dear, how unfortunate. The school nurse said it's a migraine, and I shouldn't fret much, but a mother can't help but worry. If only he weren't so stubborn, like his father."

As if on cue, a loud honk comes from outside.

"That must be him!" She exclaims, hurriedly sliding in her heels, turning back to look at your awkward figure. "Ajax is in his room, it's the second door to the right upstairs. I've made some lasagna for the kids, you ought to have some as well, I'll be upset if you don't—" Another annoying honk cuts her off, to which she scoffs, shaking a fist. "That old man, I'll strangle him in his sleep. I must be going now, goodbye dear." She reveals a twinkling smile at you one last time, waving a slim hand before picking up her heels and making a run for it.

The door closes with an unceremonious thud, gust of wind in its trail, leaving a bewildered high schooler in its wake.

Snapping out of your haze, overwhelming tides threaten to drown you whole. Being in Childe's home, alone, with him a handful of stair steps and a wall or two away, your cheeks are set ablaze.

Now that his mother's gone, you take a second to really look. There are a few toys littered in front of the TV, home covered in with soft throws and coordinated cushions, a lazy sectional plopped right in the middle. The marks on the furniture with all the stories, the light hued mismatched frames hanging on the walls and on all the table, so many pictures of those that resemble him, his brothers, his sisters, his family. You can almost hear the echoing laughter in the halls, the childish squeals and pitter patter of tiny feet slapping the hardwood floor.

This is where he grew up. This is where he retires to after a long day full of gratifying fistfights. This is where he was raised to be who he is today, ambitious and reckless, with the absurd dream to one day rule the world. This is his home.

It's...like being wrapped in blanket, safe and cozy, surrounded by all the love in the world.

Absentmindedly, your fingers trace the outlines of a younger Childe, two missing teeth and eyes full of dreams, hugging the side of his father's shoulder because his small arms can't wrap around them. Not just yet.

You make your way over to the staircase, which has even more frames littered across the wall, one that falls short of hiding the marks of a green crayon—another slice of domesticity you aren't quite accustomed to.

The reality sets in, and you come to a conclusion. This home is definitely not an environment for growing psychopaths, Childe just beats the odds like he beats up kids on the daily.

Your fist hovers over his door as you contemplate abandoning the sheets on a nearby table, but his mother was so sweet and polite, so incredibly hospitable, you wouldn't have the heart to make a run for it.

"I can see why he can't stop talking about you."

Three consecutive knocks. If he doesn't answer, you'll leave them at the door.

"Mama," Childe's muffled groans stem from the other side, and oh, you want to revel in the grave undertone of his voice because it's certainly not a common occurrence. "I told you I'm fine. You can go okay? I don't want you to be late, just need to sleep it off."

You blink, lips curling, and then knock again.

"Mama," He whines again, and it has you grinning mischievously. He's a mommy's boy, he has to be. The thought envelopes your heart with a newfound fondness. "Just come in and hurry."

You eagerly take in the room once you slip in, eyes scanning over every little detail, until they zero in on the heap of sheets smack dab on the single bed, a pair of feet dangling off the edge, topped with a comforter thrown over leisurely.

Childe's facing away from you, head dipped in between his shoulders, probably trying to find a position that's more comfortable. He's shivering, sweating at the same time. His mother must've been too preoccupied to notice. This isn't the first time he's used his exceptional bullshitting finesse.

"I can't believe you lied to your mother," You cross your arms, leaning back against the door.

With a jerk, Childe flings into a sitting up position, wide awake and aware of everything that is going on, a stark contrast from nearly seconds ago.

He blinks at you in shock, once, twice, rubs his eyes a bit, relaxes, then leans back, out of it completely. "For a sleep paralysis monster, you sure are kind of cute."

"For and idiot you sure are an idiot." You snort back.

"Wait a minute," He mutters slowly, jaw dropping. "You're actually here?!"

Ignoring his question, you opt to slap the papers on his desk to ignore your clammy palms. "Homework."

"And here I thought you came here all this way to be my personal nurse." He smirks, recovering from his momentary shock fairly swiftly. Doesn't refrain from giving you that shit stain of a bad boy grin, even with a flushed face and concavity under his eyes.

"I can be your personal mortician instead."

"I didn't know you were into role play babe, but I'll take what I can get." He winks, but is punished by a sequence of coughs that earn a wince from you.

"Headache?" You tease after he quiets down, but he remains as cavalier as always.

He sighs, sides of his lips still arched upwards. "My parents barely have any time to themselves, it's so hectic with the kids. What kind of son would I be if I couldn't even give them this?"

He must've threatened Barbara.

"You're," You inhale, briefly letting the silence hang between you two, mulling over what you wish to convey. sweet.

"Irresistible? Hot? Sexy?" He starts casual, arrogant smirk widening.

"Kind of not a complete asshole, is what I was going to say."

"Careful girlie," He narrows his eyes on you, playful lilt in his tone. The comforter is allowed to slip past his shoulders to reveal the goods that lie underneath, the complete naked chest of a post-puberty highschool boy who sprays too much axe. Full pectorals are something to pay for, stringed with smooth muscles that ripple their way over his toned shoulders. "If you keep teasing me like this, I can't promise I'll be the nice guy."

"One more time from the top," You bite back, avoiding staring at him for too long. "Without the congested nose this time."

With great expertise, he weakly throws a pillow at you, and you watch it exceptionally land at your feet, barely grazing the tips of your socks.

"Impressive," You whistle, not impressed.

He pouts, shivers, then is dunking his head back into the welcoming embrace of his plush collection of pillows.

With a sigh, you plop down on his chair, grab a pen and begin calculating derivatives.

"What're you doing?" He doesn't even turn your way, voice muffled.

"Homework," You reply nonchalantly, trying to calm your nerves. "unless you want me to get you something to eat, considering you puked out your gogurt on Barbara's shoes earlier. Congrats by the way, you're hit listed by her fan club."

"Why are you doing homework?" He groans, rolling off to the side and kicking off the blanket to expose himself in nothing but a pair of boxers. "I'm literally right here, naked and defenseless. Why aren't you taking advantage of me?"

He really has an IQ below room temperature.

Burying the formidable obligation to clock him in the face on behalf of society, you slowly get up to approach his bed, to which he grins widely in disbelief.

Apprehensively, you climb onto his bed, and he scoots over, excitement as clear as day. His hair's a wild mess from all the shifting, almost makes you want to card a hand through it. Your heart nestles it's way in your throat at the sight of his blazing blue eyes.

You pity him for what you're about to do.

"Relax Childe," You lean over him with confidence you never knew you had to begin with, face hovering inches before his. Your fists strategically grip the comforter on either side of him. "We have all day after all."

Although you attempt to pay no heed to his quivering hand that snakes up to find solace on your hip, you momentarily shiver at the tenderness.

He's eating this up and leaving no crumbs. Closing his eyes in anticipation, his lips tremble when he tries to close in the distance.

Abruptly, you cross both handfuls of sheets over his body, tying them securely in place to keep him docile. He struggles in your grip, eyes snapping open in surprise. "Wuh-What."

"Did you really think you had a chance?" You cross your arms, stepping back to get a good look at your handiwork.

"Honestly?" Childe huffs, struggles some in his restraints. "I wasn't really thinking."

"Typical," You scrunch your nose up, unscrunch, and then exhale. "You stay here and I'll go make you some soup. Well, not that you can really move but you get the idea."

"You're really going to leave me here like this?" He pouts cutely, melting you, and the sick bastard knows of his power.

"Relax," You wave a hand, "I may be evil but I'm not Scaramouche."

Meanwhile, Scaramouche sneezes as he tries to ask Mona out, falling straight on his ass from the kick back, making a complete fool out of himself. Mona doesn't mind though, finds it endearing.

Back at Childe's room, he raises a brow, expectant.

Going through the five stages of grief, you do something you've been wanting to do for a while, succumbing to the immense feeling.

Closing in the distance between you two, you suck in a breath and gently tilt Childe's head to the side. He blinks quickly, not quite expecting your sudden forwardness, about to say something that doesn't matter as soon as you place a tender peck on the side of his cheek.

Time stops, the world coming to a halt completely. A moment made in history, one you won't ever forget, fresh in both your minds from forward on.

And then you stagger away as if you've been stabbed.

"Soup!" You squeak, appalled by the sheer boldness of your actions. "I'll go make soup while you rest."

Childe, frozen, stares at you incredibly confused, and then beams.

Dear Archons, what have you done.

[rocorambles]

Inexperience

Pairing: Tsukishima x Reader 

Genre/Warnings: NSFW, Slight Angst, Fluff, Fingering

Summary: When insecurity about your lack of sexual experience threatens to tear you apart internally, Tsukishima is there to hold you together, to show you there’s nothing to be worried about, to prove that he loves you just for being you. 

Author’s Note: I just wanted an excuse to write about soft museum employee Tsukishima and just soft Tsukishima in general. 

Tsukishima had always been smart, cunning, intelligent, so it wasn’t really a surprise to anyone that he decided to work at the Sendai City Museum. It just fit him perfectly and it was easy to imagine the tall blonde pushing up his glasses as he calmly led tour groups around, clearly articulating and teaching visitors about the history of Sendai. And when his old Karasuno teammates visit him, they can’t help but notice how his quiet, reserved personality seems right at home in the peaceful halls of the institution, his character only breaking when he barks for Hinata to quiet down or not touch some of the artifacts. 

What is surprising is the way he almost seems flustered, stumbling over words, awkwardly unable to make eye contact as another museum employee greets him with a smile as she passes by and Daichi and Sugawara look at each other in interest, realization in their eyes as they watch their kouhai’s eyes trail after her retreating figure. 

In a small town like Miyagi where there isn’t much exciting news to keep them entertained, this is as close to reality TV as they can get, not to mention both of them are now incredibly invested and determined for the younger, seemingly impassive man to finally get his fill of romance. So needless to say, they make a trip to the Sendai City Museum a regular occurrence and although Tsukishima looks at them with suspicion, his respect for his senpais keeps his mouth still and he just politely walks them through the museum, spends his lunch breaks with them, and meets them for drinks after work once in a while. 

It’s actually kind of nice, he supposes. He’s always liked and respected the two older men, although both men terrified him in their own ways: Daichi with his stern and fear inducing temper, Suga with his perception that rivals Tsukishima’s own intellect and his mischievous streak that sometimes meant trouble for anyone who peaked his interest. But without the restraints of them being his captain and vice-captain, without the natural inherent age hierarchy that comes from being in school, he finds himself opening up more and truly enjoying the company of the two men, even if there is always a nagging question in the back of his mind wondering what exactly has them hanging around him so often these days. 

The answer comes like a swift punch in the gut one day as the three of them walk around the museum and happen to cross your path and before Tsukishima can quickly and nervously greet and part ways with you as usual, Suga is there pressed close to his side, eyes glinting as he stares at you, pouting at Tsukishima to introduce his friend to Daichi and him. And before Tsukishima can even take back control and catch up with what’s happening, he’s being forcefully dragged by Daichi as Suga easily chats away with you, leading the way for all four of you to eat at a local restaurant. And he gulps as Daichi slaps him hard on the back with a wide toothy grin plastered on his face as he pulls the tense blonde aside for a moment. 

“Chin up! You’re never going to get that girl’s attention if you just sit around like a moping beanpole.”

Daichi smirks as Tsukishima’s jaw drops and he briefly basks in catching the usually nonchalant man off guard, chuckling when the blonde doesn’t even try to deny Daichi’s words, and he nudges him into the restaurant, joining Suga and you who are already seated. 

Lunch is...pleasant and although Tsukishima feels like a deer in headlights at the beginning of the meal as he tries to talk to you like a normal human being and not some love stricken child, with the help of his more extroverted and sociable senpais conversation flows smoothly and he can feel his shoulders relax, his mind focus and hone in on your words, falling more and more in love the more you talk, the more you smile and laugh. And Suga and Daichi subtly wink at each other when the atmosphere changes and suddenly they’re background characters watching the two of you flirt, barely acknowledged as the two of you stare in each other’s eyes, fully focused on one another. 

Needless to say, there are many more lunch breaks spent together, these times just the two of you and you can’t help but be in awe as your handsome quiet coworker begins to come out of his shell bit by bit, practically howling in laughter after the initial shock when he instinctively shoots a snarky comment your way for the first time when you clumsily spill coffee all over yourself one morning. But you’re not laughing when he takes off his blazer and wraps it around your shoulders and the both of you shyly look away as you snake your arms through the sleeves and button it up, effectively covering your jarring stain and when he walks away to begin his tours for the day, you bury your face into the oversized fabric, hiding your gleeful smile as your heart thunders inside of your chest. 

It doesn’t take long before the two of you officially begin dating and you spend some of the happiest months of both your lives together as you walk hand in hand through other museums, nerding out over history, as you attend his volleyball games, loudly cheering whenever he successfully blocks a spike and no matter how big the crowd is, he never fails to search for and find you among the masses, standing a little straighter, the hint of a smile tugging at his lips when he meets your gaze. 

And yet, there’s hesitation on your part when he walks you home like a gentleman, making sure you’re safely inside your apartment, the front door firmly locked behind you. You love the feeling of his large calloused hands entwined with yours. You love the way his lips feel against yours as he gives you a sweet kiss before he parts ways. But when the two of you stand there in front of your doorway, hand in hand, eyes lovingly locked on each other, you can’t bring yourself to take the next step and invite him in, your insecurities and inexperience clamming your mouth shut. And although he never pressures you, never even remotely hints at being frustrated or impatient about the lack of sexual intimacy between the two of you, your own doubts and anxieties create imaginary monsters in your head, only fueling your insecurity about never having been with a man before and you feel more and more distraught the longer the two of you date, wondering if he’d break up with you any minute, choose any of his pretty fans or the pining women who join his tour guides regularly over you, experienced and confident women who wouldn’t hesitate to tumble into bed with him. 

Maybe that’s why, even though you’re not ready, even though you’re trembling with nerves, you shakily hold his hand and lead him inside your home after one of your dates, trying to force a smile on your face as you clumsily remove your clothes in front of him, hoping you look enticing despite the sick feeling in your stomach. But you’re a fool to think Tsukishima wouldn’t see right through you, to think his sharp eyes wouldn’t notice the nervous gulp you take, the way your smile doesn’t reach your eyes, and he’s quick to stop you, gently holding your hands in his and leading you to your couch where he drapes a blanket over you, trying to be respectful as he looks away from your bare form. 

But when he stops you, covers you, looks away, all you feel is rejection and hot tears begin to prick at the corner of your eyes and Tsukishima has never felt more panicked than he does when he hears the first of your sniffles as you try to wipe your tears away, clumsily reaching to drag you and hold you in his arms, tucking your head in his chest as he pleads with you to tell him what’s wrong. And he feels unsure and lost, useless as his actions only seem to make you sob harder, but before he can pull away thinking he’s somehow causing you even more pain, he stills as you throw your arms around his neck before he can completely separate from you. 

Hesitantly he carefully wraps his own wiry arms around you again and he waits, waits until your body stops shaking, waits until sobs turn into sniffles which turn into silence, waits until you lift up your head enough for you to speak. And then he listens, listens as you shyly tell him that you’ve never done anything beyond kissing before, fury beginning to coil inside of him when you timidly tell him about exes who had dumped you for being a “prude”, pain gnawing at him when you tell him how scared you were of losing him for the same reason. 

You’re silent once you finish speaking, feeling lighter, but more vulnerable as you anxiously wait for a response, fidgeting the longer and larger the silence becomes. But you gasp when large hands are pressed on either side of your face, gently turning you until you’re forced to stare into your boyfriend’s eyes and you think you might start crying again at the pure love in his eyes, the way he makes you feel so secure, so cared for with just a single look. And now it’s your turn to listen as he gruffly tells you how stupid you were for ever thinking he’d ever leave you for something like that, how he’s not some scumbag who only wants you for your body, and despite the biting edge to his voice and the harsh wording, you hear and feel just how genuine his love for you is and suddenly you feel silly for ever doubting him, ever doubting his love for you. 

The rest of the night continues peacefully once tears have been wiped away, once everything that’s needed to be said is out in the open and your blanket covered body is firmly snuggled in Tsukishima’s lap and you rest your head against his chest as he holds you, both of you watching a random show flickering on the TV screen. But you look up questioningly when Tsukishima begins to shift around uncomfortably, asking him if he wants you to sit beside him instead of on his lap, wondering if your body weight was getting to be too much after such a prolonged time, but your face heats when his hands reach down to cover the growing tent in his pants and he embarrassedly asks if you want to put your clothes back on and just give him a minute to settle back down. 

You hesitate. Maybe it’s the staggering revelation that Tsukishima truly loves you for just being you. Maybe it’s the surge of confidence you feel knowing he could care less if you don’t want to go beyond kissing and holding hands anytime in the near future, only caring that he gets to be with you. 

You’re not ready to go all the way, but…

You almost laugh at how Tsukishima startles and frantically tells you that he doesn’t want you to do anything you’re uncomfortable with, stammering and almost hyperventilating as you let the blanket slip off of you, revealing all of you to your boyfriend, so different from the usually cool and composed facade he has. And you gently, but determinedly grab his hands and tug them away from the eyes they’re covering, nervously biting your lower lip as he stares in awe at you, eyes fixated as they trail every inch of you, looking at you like you’re a work of art. 

“I’m not ready to go all the way, but I want to- can we-” 

You’re not sure what to say, how to explain it, lost for words as you enter a realm you’ve never experienced before, but Tsukishima is there to lead you, guide you and you happily sigh as he captures your lips in a tender kiss.

“We can do whatever you want. Just tell me when you want to stop. Tell me when you don’t like something, even if you’re just a little unsure, okay?” 

You eagerly nod, wrapping your arms once again around the back of Tsukishima’s neck and wrapping your legs around his waist as he carries you to your bedroom, carefully laying you on your back and your heart races in your chest as you stare at him looming over you, breathily gasping as he peppers a trail of butterfly kisses from your lips down the side of your neck and you clutch his shoulders at the feeling of his lips on such a sensitive part of you. But you’re quickly distracted as his hands begin to massage your breasts, fingers almost teasingly brushing against your hardening nipples and Tsukishima can’t take his eyes away from you, lust pooling in his groin at how sensitive you are as you drown in pleasured sensations you’re feeling for the first time. 

He wants to hear every pretty sound you make, wants to see every reaction he can coax out of you, and he stares transfixed at how blissed out you look just from a few kisses, just from his mouth and fingers sucking and playing with your nipples. He wants more, more, more and his long fingers begin to trail down your body, fingertips dragging down your sides, reveling in the way you shiver from the simple touch. But he pauses as his hands reach your thighs, thumbs rubbing comforting circles on your inner thighs, breath catching in his throat at how wet you are, juices dripping and glistening already. 

There’s nothing more he wants than to dive right in, experience first hand how you taste, how you feel, but he carefully studies you, takes in your heaving chest, your glazed eyes. 

“Are you okay? Do you want me to stop?” 

He continues tracing gentle patterns and shapes on your skin, letting you take your time to find words through the haze of arousal you feel, but his grip unconsciously tightens when you needily tell him you want more in a high pitched whine, desire lancing through him from how desperate you sound. And he slowly runs his fingers up and down your slick slit until they’re coated in your sticky fluids, until you’re rolling and grinding your hips in a silent plea for more. Only then does he slide one finger inside, chest tightening from the way your back arches as he hooks his finger, dragging against your soft walls as he takes his time slipping in and out of you. 

A part of him wants to be a little cruel, see how much of a mess he can make of you if he painstakingly slows down his pace even more, letting you feel just enough pleasure to writhe around, but never enough to reach your peak. A part of him wants to stay like this forever, see how much more lewdly you can beg verbally and physically. But you look so confused, so helpless, so wrecked as unknown pleasure courses through you and he decides to show you mercy for now, decides to show you that you have nothing to fear as he adds another finger, his two fingers stretching you even more, scissoring inside of you, and he smiles at how your mouth gapes open, tongue lolling out as your tight hole is filled for the first time. 

His cock twitches at the sight and his free hand slips underneath his boxers to soothe his aching length, but he freezes when you wantonly beg to see it and he grits his teeth to stop himself from coming right there and then from just those words and the hungry look in your eyes as he shoves his boxers down, his cock springing against his stomach, hard and leaking, spurting more pre-cum as you unconsciously lick your lips at the sight and he imagines how good your mouth would feel around him.

But that’s for another day and he turns his attention back to the task at hand, his free hand wrapping around his shaft as he adds a third finger to the mess between your legs, your arousal making it all too easy to slide right in. And he can’t help but furiously stroke his cock as his fingers increase their pace, lewd wet slick sounds filling the room mixing with your rising moans. Your thighs begin to clench and shake, your pussy tightens around his fingers, and he can almost taste just how close you are to falling apart, to coming undone. And all it takes is his thumb reaching up to rub your clit, his fingers rapidly pistoning in and out of your gushing hole before you’re screaming, body convulsing and eyes rolling back as he continues his frantic pace, not letting up as he forces you to continue your ride until every ounce of pleasure is stripped from you, until you’re just twitching here and there as the last embers of your orgasm finally fade away. 

And only when you let out a mewl of discomfort does he stop, fingers still lodged deep inside of you as his fist pumps his cock, mouth going dry at how beautiful you look exhausted, wrecked, a silly dazed look on your face and he groans as he spills all over his hand, smiling wickedly when he notices how your eyes are now alert and intently staring at him, your attention solely focused on him. 

He makes a show of slowly pulling his fingers out of you, spreading them apart to show you how coated they are with you before slipping them between his lips, never breaking eye contact with you as he licks and sucks every last drop, something primal raging inside of him at how encaptured you are by the scene playing out in front of you despite the innocence and slight shyness he still sees flickering in your eyes. 

But there would be time in the future for more and he shoves his base desires down, grimacing slightly as he haphazardly wipes the mess on his hands and cock with his boxers before moving until he’s laying right beside you, wrapping an arm around your waist and pressing his face against your cheek, letting you ground yourself, nuzzle into his warmth, find comfort in his solid presence as the last tendrils of post-coital bliss finally fade away. 

He softly smiles, adoration in his eyes when you fully come back to him, a radiant albeit tired grin on your face as you affectionately kiss him before sinking into his hold with a big yawn, eyelids fluttering shut as you sleepily demand that he stay the night. And he lightly chuckles and rolls his eyes before turning the lights off, tucking you both underneath your bed sheets as he joins you in slumber, a twin pair of smiles on both your faces as you fall asleep entangled in each other’s arms. 

[inthememetime]

Horror Writing Tips 3: Be Careful What You Wish For

Master list here

Due to the sheer amount of information, this will be in two parts.

Whether the main genre you like is horror, comedy, romance, adventure, or something else, I can guarantee you've come across a piece of media involving wishes. This part covers a general overview of how wishes usually alter a world or person. The second will go into more detail about what creatures or items can grant wishes, wish cost, and similar topics.

When you're trying to give the audience information about your character, a wish, and how they react to it can tell a lot about them. Maybe their wish is petty and vicious, causing minor or great harm. Maybe your character isn't as over the death of a close companion as they'd like others to believe, and wishes for just 1 more day with that person. Maybe they're kind and generous, wishing for something that doesn't help them at all, such as a 100% free cure for cancer. Or maybe it's more nuanced; a hero wishing that they had more help, or someone bored foolishly wishing for something interesting to happen.

Wishes also come in 4 main effects: "It was all a dream", "Wish reversals", " Paradox", or " Net 0 benefit".

Wish Type 1: It Was All A Dream

Let's look at 'It's a Wonderful Life, a classic Christmas story. The main character wishes he'd never been born, so later on he sees his friends and family living like her either died or just never existed. In the end, the wish granter (the angel) lets him choose: to cease to exist completely or not. Now, as this is a Christmas feel-good movie, he learns not to take the people who love him for granted, and is delighted when he wakes up after his dream to find everything as it was.

Not everything ends as peacefully. Take The Labyrinth where Sarah regrets her wish and learns several life lessons while fixing the problem she unintentionally made, but then isn't sure if she's done dreaming yet or not. Imagine the trauma that probably changed her fundamentally after just one night.

In Inception, in the end, the audience is left wondering if this is still a dream, or if one of the main characters has woken up. Ending with that kind of a mystery can be a great way to infuse a little horror.

Wish Type 2: Wish Reversals

This is the plot of Fairly Odd Parents. Really. In every episode, Timmy (or someone with access to fairies) makes a wish, regrets it, and wishes he never made the wish in the first place.

Cheesy cartoon aside, this can be great for character development. Maybe your character wishes that person in their class loved them, or they're a hero and they wish the powers they have had never come to them. You can put anything here, and it can still make great character development.

In the first example, wishing for love, maybe they come to realize their crush really isn't their type at all. Maybe they're horrified by the realization that their crush's body seems to be moving of it's own accord while the only clue that something is wrong is the terrified look in the other characters eyes.

There's an episode of Danny Phantom in which one of the 3 main characters, Sam, wishes she'd never met Danny during an argument. She isn't serious, just upset. While Sam remembers, the others forget they'd ever met, and this causes a massive butterfly effect. Danny introduced her to Tucker, so both of her friends and only support system suddenly don't know her. Her abrasive personality makes it difficult to make new friends, so she immediately gets off on the wrong foot while trying to talk to Tucker. Because Sam was such a big part of the accident that gave Danny his powers, the hero suddenly forgets he's a hero at all.

In the end, Sam has to remind Danny of who he really is, and make friends with Sam and Tucker. Because Danny is the most genuinely friendly person in their group, it forces her to look at herself and her friends from Danny's point of view; that of a teenage boy who has a lot of trauma but still remains upbeat, friendly, and loyal to his friends. It forces her to put aside the smaller issues that upset her and learn to prioritize by solving the most important problem first while working gradually on problems that just can't be solved in a day. It also helps her learn the courage to talk about and confront what's really bothering her.

Even though the wish was reversed in these scenarios, the wisher learns important lessons. While frequently the wisher is the only one who remembers, Sam admits to her wish and earns Danny's and Tucker's trust again. Having people who were altered in some way by the wish remember can be its character development and can advance the plot.

Wish Type 3: Paradox

This usually involves some sort of time travel. In Doctor Who, there are multiple examples. Using one of 11's Christmas episodes, a family is notified that the patriarch's plane was lost in WW2, and the family mourns him. One of the children wishes for help, and the Doctor comes. However, by helping other planets' species, the mother creates a massive storm that blows planes off course and creates a massive light. The husband follows the light from the storm to safety and lands in their yard on Christmas day. Without the storm, the plane would not have gone off course. Without the light, the father wouldn't have been able to come home. Without the father missing, they would not have wished for help. This creates a paradox wherein the events cannot happen without the wish, and the wish always had to happen.

Wish Type 4: Net 0 or Negative Benefit

I can't remember the title, but there's a short story in which a person wishes everyone they hated would die. At first, their bullies die, which they are morally confused about. However, they become briefly angry at a close companion, and this is close enough for the wish to kill them. They begin to hate themselves, which causes the wish to kill them. This is a negative benefit- it helps no one, hurts everyone, and though lessons are learned, the Fisher either doesn't survive long enough to wish it back, or things are so irrevocably damaged by the end that they ended up making their lives much more difficult.

A Net 0 benefit is an example of what frequently happened in the show Fairly Odd Parents. Timmy never seems to learn any lessons. He wishes things back to normal and for no time to have passed, and the world keeps turning. He is never permanently harmed. While his wish is active, it frequently hurts him and others, and helps him as well, usually either more harm than good or just about even. People besides the fairies never seem to remember anything, so no matter how much good or evil his wishes do, there is always a Net 0.

[anntoldst0ries]

Alan x Naveen's friendship - headcanon

I absolutely adore both Alan & Naveen. Since they are two men closest to Dr Ramsey's stubborn heart, I always imagined them being quite close friends. And this is a story of how (in my head) it all happened!

Once upon a time, in a typical American household in Providence, RI, lived a young boy who decided to embark on his own path and carve a future for himself, far from what others would expect from him.

Hesitating between a career as a detective and a doctor, he decided to go for the latter, because he saw himself doing more good as a physician.

During his time in JH School of Medicine, he came across some volumes published by none other than Dr Naveen Banerji.

He read them all and was hooked.

Dr Banerji’s research inspired young Ethan to pursue diagnostics as his specialization; he also saw himself joining Dr Banerji’s world famous Diagnostics Team.

In his residency application, Dr Ethan Ramsey ranked Edenbrook Hospital in Boston first on the list.

Naveen personally chose him for the residency, but Ethan only found out after joining the DT as a permanent member.

One of the things Ethan has always admired about Naveen most was how he balanced kindness and compassion with being a very demanding teacher; it was something he struggled to find in himself.

Naveen encouraged Ethan to find his own style as a doctor, which he eventually did.

The interns & co-workers called his style ‘Nightmare from Blossom Street’ * - some people dreamed about Dr Terminator and were terrified Ethan would literally find them in their sleep.

Ethan & Naveen bonded over their exceptional standards of patient care, Ethan also found a father figure in Naveen, who pushed him beyond his limits.

Alan & Naveen ‘officially’ met after Ethan’s passed board exam celebrations.

After 10 minutes spent together, they were acting like besties who have known each other for ages.

Despite coming from two different worlds and having vastly distinct life experiences, the two clicked really fast.

Both men share a number of interests: card games, books, bowling… but their favourite one is constantly teasing Ethan.

When they joined forces against him, Ethan knew he made a mistake introducing them and worse, he knew there is nothing he can do to reverse it.

Whenever Alan, Naveen and “their boy” are in the same room, Ethan’s nose is always very sore for he pinches it every other minute in frustration.

Before he met Naveen, Alan used to be a little jealous of the way Ethan always spoke of his mentor.

After learning Naveen never wed and had no children of his own, Alan was actually very proud of his son for becoming ‘the closest thing to family he’s ever had’, as said by Dr Banerji.

Alan could sleep more peacefully knowing Naveen has an eye on Ethan.

He also knew Naveen can talk some sense into Ethan whenever necessary and out of respect for his mentor, Ethan will lower his head, mutter something under his nose but in the end he will listen.

Sometimes, when he looked at the two, Ethan couldn’t shake the feeling that although his mother left him, fate gave him another father instead. But he’d never say it out loud.

Unbeknownst to Ethan, Alan & Naveen have been fervently discussing the appearance of go-getting Dr Valentine in his life.

When Naveen fell sick, Alan was one of the first people who found out and it hit him really hard, but he supported him as best as he could.

One day, after Ethan and Noelle left his secret patient room, Naveen texted Alan: “I have to get better so I can dance at our boy’s wedding. I need a bit more time to confirm, but I think he’s found his future wife.”

At first, Alan thought his poor friend is suffering from fever or that his condition suddenly worsened; but Naveen assured him he’s not felt better in weeks. The sudden prospect of starting the hottest hospital rumour mill in a decade reinvigorated him.

When it was her who found the cure, they both considered it a sign.

It wasn’t 5 minutes after Alan met Noelle that he texted Naveen: “She’s a keeper. We better visit the tailor to have our tuxedos made on time.”

During Elle’s time in the contaminated room, Alan and Naveen were heartbroken for Ethan & Noelle. They promised each other that if she survives this, they will lock them both in a room (without any toxic substances) and hold them captive until they both confess their feelings.

Fortunately, there was no need as the life or death experience shook Ethan to his core.

Ever since, they’ve started noticing changes in him; Ethan was becoming softer, got frustrated a lot less than before and even smiled from time to time.

After Noelle passed her board exams, she invited Alan and Naveen for a celebration dinner, which obviously opened a floodgate of memories.

Both quite tipsy, Alan and Naveen started reminiscing about Ethan’s obsession with Naveen years ago.

Ethan didn’t even have to look at Elle; he knew exactly what she was going to say before she even opened her mouth. Safe to say, he wasn’t very happy about this.

“That’s interesting” - she said charmingly - “I was under the impression you find the idolatry among physicians absurd, Ethan.”

Alan, Naveen and Elle looked at each other before bursting out in laughter. Ethan ended this evening with a sore nose, again.

When Ethan asked for their help with choosing an engagement ring some time later, he found it weird that both took the information very calmly.

Little did he know that after he told Naveen and left his office, his mentor called Alan and they had their fair share of screams and victory dances then.

During Ethan & Noelle’s wedding (half of which they spent crying, the other half - drinking quite a lot) Alan and Naveen came clean about everything.

To their surprise, Ethan wrapped them in a tight hug and said "Thank you."

Their fledgling daughter-in-law winked and mouthed "I knew it."

On the day their first granddaughter was born, Alan and Naveen were in the hospital, awaiting the happy news in anticipation.

Instead of sitting on uncomfortable hospital chairs, they spent this time in the comfort of Naveen’s office.

By the time Ethan popped by to announce the birth of his daughter and invite them to meet the little girl, the two grandfathers have had her whole life planned, down to the minute.

Through trial and error, Alan and Naveen taught themselves how to use Pictagram so they could stalk Ethan and later to also post gazillion pictures of their grandchildren; they are now more proficient in using it than Dr Ramsey, which is the only reason why Ethan hasn’t blocked them yet

* reference to “Nightmare from Elm Street” movie series + Blossom Street is an actual street in Boston (where Massachusetts General Hospital is located)

~~~

Hope you enjoyed & as always thank you for your support! xx

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[svtshine]

 — The sun and its petals 

pairing: Jeonghan x reader

genre: fluff, Royalty!au

type: imagine

word count: 6.1k 

warnings: mentions of abuse and cursing 

extras: Hi guys! In about a week, i won’t be posting as much. So if anyone of you guys would still like to request send in the ask by this week. thanku ^^

summary : When a prince meets a commoner.

The sun was high. The wind was a gentle howl, blowing softly through your hair as you stood up from the flowery fields. The basket in your hands were filled with bright coloured flowers.

You raised your hand to feel the sun ray, warm against your palm. You smiled, satisfied and closed your eyes. Taking in the scent of the oak trees and flowers surrounding you.

The wind blew stronger and your dress danced gracefully along with it. The weather was perfect. You sat down on the vast fields and gently braided some of the flowers you had collected. After some time, a mixture of soft blue and white adorned the crown of your head in a flower crown.

You twirled around, following the direction of the wind. As it guided you into a slow rhythmic dance. You imagined a man infront of you, offering you his hand and bringing you so close you could feel the warmth radiating off him.

The sun shifted as the day began to set. You watched the bright blue sky contort into a palette of pink and orange. You picked up your basket and walked the path that led you home. The majestic castle of the Yoons were in clear view, as you turned around. You raised your hand, almost as if you could feel it from where you stood, miles away.

Wishful thinking, you thought

You stared at the castle for a while longer, before turning around and leaving for home.

How you longed to find your prince charming. The one who would rescue you from the wretched hole you called “home”. You wanted someone who would whisk you off to a land far away, where no one would ever bother you again. Someone who could make you smile because you were genuinely happy.

But you smiled crookedly to yourself.

This was the sad truth of the world.

Happy endings truly belonged, only in fairytale books.

One you would never have a role in.

Jeonghan stared into the distance. The night sky resembled an abyss. The stars that twinkled in the distance was the only object that made him smiled.

With his chin atop his hand, he perched on top of the grand castle called his “home”.

Jeonghan knew this place like the back of his hand. He remembered the memories kept deep within him as he was growing up.

This used to be “home”. But now it was a cage, trapping him within.

Jeonghan smiled as a light wind blew his hair softly. He stared at the town below. Streets lighted up by lanterns and candles, there were hardly anyone out at this hour.

He longed to be free. He felt trapped in his own cage like a lonely bird. Jeonghan wanted to sprout his wings and explore, fly freely. He wanted to get to know his citizens, how they lived.

Jeonghan wanted a fantasy that wasn’t his.

Jeonghan raised his hand to feel the wind, trying desperately to reach the stars.

The entrance to the roof opened. Jeonghan didn’t bother to turn around till the newcomers spoke up while panting.

“Yah Jeonghan, we’ve been searching everywhere for you. You changed your hiding place again” Seungcheol panted out while wiping away his sweat.

Jeonghan shrugged his shoulders and stood up to walk to his two closest guards.

“Your Majesty, you really have to stop running around, as much as you hate it here. I’ve lost so much weight running around to find you” Joshua said, playfully joking with Jeonghan.

Joshua and Seungcheol has been assigned to Jeonghan ever since they turned 16. Being the best of their training academy, they were both requested to guard the only prince of the kingdom.

They’ve been through thick and thin together and they were both Jeonghan’s best friends. Jeonghan has never liked being called formally by his two best friends. However, only Seungcheol was comfortable in calling him by his name since he was the oldest.

Jeonghan apologised to them in a joking manner and left for his room, hands in his pocket. They followed slowly behind him, knowing if he found a new place, he wanted to be alone.

Jeonghan stretched his arms as he passed by his father’s room.

“The date for his ball is arriving soon, by then he gets to choose his beloved.” His father spoke.

“But dear, i’ve already found good suitors for him. I’m sure he’ll like them” The voice is his stepmother made him furrow his eyebrow in disgust.

His father sighed heavily and stood up from his seat and walked up and down. “This is our tradition, we can’t take it away from him. i’ve promised him that”

“Sweetie, look at him, he’d sad, lonely. These suitors will be perfect for him, i know it, trust me.” She said slyly.

“Jeonghan would be able to find happiness faster” His stepmother whispered.

Jeonghan rolled his eyes in annoyance.

“Really?” His father said. “Well i guess if that would make him happy—“

Jeonghan’s eyes widened and shook his head.

“Of course, my king” His stepmother replied, smiling maliciously.

Jeonghan clenched his fists tightly. He was not going to be the pawn of her game yet again.

That, he promised himself as he walked away back to his room quietly.

You woke up to the sun rays entering your room and the birds that chirped outside your window. You made the bed and quickly got changed into your daily dress.

You headed downstairs, dodging the empty bottles of alcohol on the floor. Your mother was collapsed on the couch, spread out and snoring loudly.

You cringed as you looked at the mess infront of you. It has become a daily thing, picking up your mother’s mess quickly so that you can make breakfast as fast as possible.

When you accidentally knocked over a bottle, the noise stirred your Mother awake. You didn’t dare look into her eyes as she screamed at you, “Hey! What’s wrong with you bitch. You’re so useless you can’t even clean? This is why your Father left!”

Tears filled your eyes as you bit your lips from crying out when she stood up and smacked you so hard you slipped and fell. Your Mother looked at you viscously. “Get up useless. Go open the damn store. Buy me more beer. Got that?” she said. When you nodded timidly she slapped you and shouted, “Speak you’re not mute”

“Y-yes Mother” She rolled her eyes and tumbled to her bedroom. You picked up the shattered glasses and the rest of the trash that littered your small living room.

Tears fell one by one and you hissed when you accidentally cut yourself. The blood dripped from your palm and landed onto the floor. Why, what have you done to deserve this you reflected.

Your Mother was not always a raging alcoholic. She was once a dignified women that brought a smile to everyone. She loved tending to flowers which also influenced you. When you were young, you would help her around the flower shop that was passed down to her by your grandfather.

She would teach all about gardening and taking care of plants gently and would even reward you with candy.

Your father was also a kind soul, he was a knight. When one of the allied countries required help, your father was sent to fight in a terrifying war. He never came back to the both of you, his last words, “I will always love the both of you. Always”

You were ten back then. He taught you how to read, write and play different instruments like the flute. You missed him dearly. After he left and never returned, your mother fell into a dark place of never ending hatred.

Blaming you for his disappearance, degrading your sole existence. Your Mother was never the same.

You made prepared breakfast and covered it so that she could heat it up later on before heading out to open up the shop.

It wasn’t the most fancy, neither were you earning the most. But it did get you food and basic necessities which were enough for you. You loved gardening and plants so it wasn’t a problem.

“Hi Mam, lovely dress as always” You greeted the people you passed by.

Your shop resembled a small greenhouse. You put on your apron and opened up the shop. As you were moving the different pots of plants, you couldn’t help but stare out, into the vast land. Flower fields, and a beautiful forest. You were blessed to have grown up in this kingdom

You just hoped that one day, you would get to enjoy all that, peacefully.

Jeonghan was bored. His Father, The King had made him eat with his Stepmother. A meal he has been avoiding since the last time. He played with his food and glanced out of the window, the city and people on display. How he wanted to live a life like theirs.

“Now Jeonghan” The king said. “In a week, you’ll be turning twenty one. It will be your time to choose your own wife, a queen. i would be stepping down as king. “

Jeonghan continued to stare out of the window

“Your dear stepmother has already picked out a few suitors she thinks will be good for you. But ultimately the choice is yours” His father said. Jeonghan turned his head to look at his stepmother.

Jeonghan knew of her bad intentions. As much he liked to cheat to win or outsmart others to get his way, she was playing a game of pure greed.

She blinked innocently at Jeonghan, and he wanted so much to throw up at her facade.

Jeonghan couldn’t take it anymore, standing up from his seat and bowing to his father. “Father, i will keep in mind your words. Please excuse me, i’m feeling unwell” with that, he rushed out.

Jeonghan rushed to his room and changed into a commoner’s outfit. The walls were suffocating him. The sun was inviting him, it was hard to resist.

He left a note telling Seungcheol and Joshua that he would be visiting town till night falls when they finally figured out that he was missing.

Which turns out, was not long.

Jeonghan smiled as he scaled the walls perfectly and running towards the secret exit he found recently. He heard the commotion as Seungcheol and Joshua rushed to find Jeonghan.

He ran as fast as he could and soon he reached the beautiful town. People were walking from places to different places. Shops were buzzing, people were getting their chores and jobs done.

At once, Jeonghan didn’t feel alone.

He walked around town, while trying to hide from the castle guards that were on high alert for him.

Jeonghan admired the different shops and simple food. He perked up at the voice of Seungcheol, “Jeonghan? Yah, come back here!” Jeonghan took off immediately, trying to find somewhere to hide.

There was a small flower shop near the corner, he immediately entered and shut the door behind him. He looked to find you holding a watering can, eyes widening at the sight of him panting.

Jeonghan was sure that he had never met someone as beautiful as you. However he raised his lips signalling for you to stay quiet. You stayed still, shocked by his abrupt arrival.

Jeonghan immediately went behind the shop when the entrance was opened roughly yet again, and you came face to face with what seems like a palace guard.

He must be hiding from them, you thought. You placed down the watering can ans kindly asked the guard. “Hi sir, how may i help you. A bouquet? Flower arrangement perhaps?”

The guard looked around the shop, “Is anyone else here by any chance? I need to find someone” He rushed out. You shook your head slowly, “i’m sorry, but it’s only me. I think i heard someone rushing towards that direction just now” You said pointing into a random direction.

The guard’s eyes perked up and he quickly thanked you. “Thank you, and i’m sorry for bothering you” You waved him off and watched him run in the direction you pointed.

“It’s safe. The coast is clear” You said. Jeonghan peeked his head from where he was hiding and looked left and right making sure you were correct.

You stared at the man who was dressed normally and he didn’t seem like a crook. Strangely you felt almost comfortable around him like you knew he wasn’t bad. “Who are you?” 

Jeonghan stared at you for a little while before replying, “Jeonghan” His name sounded familiar but you just couldn’t remember. You took in his whole form, trying to figure out what could he have possibly done to have the guards chase him. It was like he read your mind, “A game with the guards” It didn’t make sense, but who were you to judge. 

“Are you staying?” you asked Jeonghan 

He thought for a little while, “Will you make tea?” 

You smiled at his adorable request, “I’ll make tea” 

As Jeonghan stood at his whole height, the sun shined across his face, making him look like a dream. “Then i’ll stay” 

Since then, Jeonghan has been a regular at your flower shop. He left that day filled with warmth and happiness. The two you talked for the whole afternoon and didn’t even notice time has gone by so quickly. Jeonghan assisted you with some labour work as you tended to some customers. 

You were a kind, beautiful woman. You listened intently when he talked about his thoughts of being trapped and even about his interests and goals. 

“I want to travel, see the world beyond the horizon” Jeonghan mumbled as he stared out of the window. You stood beside him and listened. “I love this country, but sometimes i just want to spread my wings and fly” 

He glanced at you for a second, his heart skipping as the array of sunset colours washed onto your face, making you look magical. The smile on your face told him that you agreed with him whole heartedly. 

Jeonghan cleared his throat, “I better get going then. See you tommorow?” He asked, his voice filled with hope. You smiled brightly and nodded. After he left, you quickly closed up the shop and left for home. 

For the first time, you skipped back home while humming to a song. Going through the event of today as you smiled to yourself. Your time with the man named Jeonghan was short, but it was the most fun you had with someone for a long time. 

Your smiled dropped a little as you heard crashes coming from the house. Sighing, you mentally prepared yourself for the blows that were going to come at you next. 

“You bitch, you forgot my drinks” Your mother hit you for the tenth time in five minutes. you crawled away from her before she landed another blow on you. “You’re really just a piece of garbage. Why did i even give birth to you?” She screamed at you. 

You whimpered as you shield yourself from the shards and glass bottles thrown at you. “Get out now, you better get those drinks if you don’t, don’t even try to come back here. There is no place for you” She boomed. 

You quickly grabbed your bag and ran out. The crashes and her screaming were not getting any softer. You cried as you ran down the path, cradling your arm that was cut by the shards. You cried for yourself, for your father that died for your country and the small memories of your kind mother. 

You bought the beers she asked for while wrapping your sweater around you tighter in the chilly night. The lights were still on but the house was quiet. You entered hesistantly. Her form was spread out on the couch like before. You left the new bottles on the table and left again. You couldn’t take it anymore, this place you once cold home was now just a horror house you desperately wanted to escape from. 

You stayed at the flower shop for the night. Pulling out a hammock and staring through the window as you thought about Jeonghan’s words.

“Sometimes i just want to spread my wings, and fly”

That was your dream too.

Jeonghan got a stern scolding from his friends. Although he had to endure an hour of scolding, he didn’t fight back or disagree anyways. Meeting you was probably the best encounter he had ever had. He learnt about the different townfolks and most importantly about you.

Even thought it was barely two hours since he left, his heart longed to see you again. You caught his eye and he felt at peace with you.

Jeonghan looked out of his balcony and into the city, trying to catch sight of your small little flower shop.

He signed excitedly and let out a smile as he couldn’t help but be excited for the next dawn.

You woke up early the next morning, taking care of the plants and getting breakfast at a nearby coffee house.

“Hey hey hey, did you hear? The prince’s ball is this friday! Everyone maiden is invited we should go!” the girls beside you chattered. You took a sip of your tea and finished up your food.

You’ve always wanted to visit the castle. Watching it from afar has always been a hobby of yours, visiting it? Would’ve been the best.

But you sighed, you didn’t even have the dress for it. You left the table and went up the counter to thank the shop lady.

You were very close to her because she was one of the people who tried helping your mother when she was mourning for your late father. She would talk care of you whenever your mother went out of control but now that the shop was getting busier and you were getting older, you convinced her that your home situation was improving.

Lies

“Y/n darling, i heard about the ball. You should go, you’ve always wanted to visit the castle since young” She told you gently as you stayed to chat with her.

You shook your head and sent her a sad smile, “With all due respect, i don’t even have the dress for it. I can’t show up in this old dress” Lifting it up as evidence.

She shook her head and told you to wait. You rest your hand on the table and thought about Jeonghan yet again. You were beyond excited to see him again.

Without knowing, you smiled.

She returned holding a box. You lifted a brow at it, wondering why on earth did she randomly take it out. She winked at you and shooed you away, “Go back to the flower shop and open this. Have a good day my child. Come back soon!” You waved back at her, holding the slightly heavy box and lifting it to your shop.

You turned on the lights as watered all the plants before opening up the box. Inside was a ballroom dress of your favourite colour. Your eyes widened as you took it out and checked if it fit you. You twirled around, holding it to your chest.

The dress was absolutely gorgeous and it fit you perfectly. There was a note inside of the box as well as a pair of shoes matching to colour of the dress.

“For you, Child. The prince’s ball is a tradition, having three sons, i wouldn’t have the chance to make a dress for any of them. But i have long taken you as my daughter, Y/n. Change it however you like, but i hope you’ll have the fun time at the ball”

You covered your hand with your mouth at the surprise. Now you were able to attend the prince’s ball taking place in three days. You reminded yourself to thank the shop lady soon.

You quickly kept the dress and opened the shop officially.

You exited the shop to take a breath of fresh air. It was crisp and the wind was perfect. The sun ok your skin made you smile.

Everything was perfect.

Everything was not perfect.

“Jeonghan meet Princess (R/n). She was one of the matches we thought would be perfect for you” Jeonghan’s stepmother’s words made his skin crawl.

The princess infront of him was nothing short of a pampered brat. She raised her nails to check them and when she saw Jeonghan she immediately pressed herself onto him. Jeonghan immediately stiffened and he desperately wanted to run away right now.

Seungcheol and Joshua tried not to laugh at the corner while watching Jeonghan’s face contort into a mixture of disgust and cringe.

He knew of her, having taken studies about different royal families. Her family was stacked with good natural resources and connections with other rich families, no doubt making them one of the wealthiest royal families.

The king wrapped his arm around Jeonghan’s stepmother. “Now son, although we said that it would be your decision ultimately, we want you to spend some time with Princess (R/n). We’re positive, the two of you would have lots of things in common” Jeonghan looked steely at his Father and Stepmother, noticing how proud she looked of her scheme.

He clenched his jaw, as much as he hated his situation, hated his stepmother. Jeonghan respected his father and would do anything for him.

“Fine”

Jeonghan wanted to tear his limbs apart, the princess infront of him. The spoilt princess? was making him lose his eardrums.

“Last week, i got my pedicure and new dresses. But they gave me the wrong colour. I got so mad i told daddy and guess what!” She exclaimed

Jeonghan sighed out, “What?”

“Daddy fired her. isn’t he just the greatest?!” she continued wrapping herself tighter around him.

Jeonghan didn’t respond as his thoughts wandered to you. He knew he promised to return but he just couldn’t get out of this situation. Literally.

He remembered your kind voice, your beauty, inside and out. The way you talked about flowers and plants like it was the most exciting in the world. And how your listened to him even when he assumed no one could understand.

Jeonghan desperately wanted to see you. Talk to you, anything just as long as you were there.

He knew who he wanted to be his princess, his wife, his soulmate.

He wanted you.

Jeonghan thought of a quick plan, pulling his arm out of Princess (R/n)’s tight grip and quickly pointing to the castle and saying that he needed to do something else.

Which wasn’t a lie.

Jeonghan ran and ran to the secret exit, without changing out of his royal clothes and only wearing a cape he grabbed along the way.

He smiled as he ran down the familiar street to your flower shop.

It was nearly four when Jeonghan finally arrived. He was dressed smartly and almost royal like but hidden beneath a cape. He held up a bag.

“i brought snacks” On cue, your stomach rumbled.

The two of you munched on the snacks he brought and drank the tea you prepared.

“I’m sorry i’m late” Jeonghan said. “i got caught up with some, burdens”

You chuckled, he looked extremely disgusted with his “burdens”

“What’s with the fancy clothes hannie?” You asked, putting down your mug.

Jeonghan smiled at his given nickname, “I work for the royal family and things have been busy for the ball” His eyes widened, “Y/n, are you coming for the ball?”

You nodded excitedly, “I wasn’t planning to, i didn’t even have a ball gown” you laughed. “But one of the kind ladies made me one. It’ll be fun visiting the castle, even thought it’ll probably be my only time visiting.” you smiled sadly at the last part.

Jeonghan listened to you attentively. You turned to look at him, “Are you going to be there?”

“Of course”

You smiled. “So will you offer me a dance?”

Jeonghan smiled back. “Make that hmm” he said before pausing, furrowing his eyebrows like he always thinking about something hard and tapping on his chin lightly. “five dances”

Your eyes widened in shock before Jeonghan laughed at you. You pouted and slapped his arm

“You should’ve seen your cute face” he said, holding onto his stomach.

You blush heavily at his comment.

Finally the day of the ball came. You’ve been slightly adjusting the dress so that it’ll fit you better. You twirled in the shop with the dress. You haven’t been home since a few days ago, but so that your mother wouldn’t bother finding you, you have been leaving alcohol infront of the house.

You knew if she saw you in that dress, she would’ve never let you go.

You picked went outside the shop, to be met with the shop lady and her son. Her son was like a brother to you and he happened to have a carriage and offered to send you to the castle.

The shop lady shed a few tears as she sent you off. You gazed out of the small window of the carriage. Mountains and clear sparkly water in view.

Your feelings the reflection of that. You felt confident, tall and excited.

Jeonghan smiled and hummed as he got ready, he couldn’t wait to see you. He knew if he had shown how much he cared about you and not about the other princesses or ladies, his father would’ve let him be.

He imagined your ball gown, you and him dancing together just like her promised. Jeonghan stared at the mountains and the clear sea infront of him. Stretching his arms and taking a deep breath, he left the room and headed for the ball room.

You stood amongst the other ladies in the ball room. It was fascinating. Gold spreading almost everywhere in the room giving it a majestic glow and the decorations were top notch.

You walked around the corridors secretly as you couldn’t hold in your curiousity. That was until a hand tapped on your shoulder and you whipped around to find Jeonghan infront of you.

He was dressed handsomely and you could’ve melted into a puddle right there. But you held yourself steady, leaned into his touch as he brought you in his arms.

If he hadn’t told you he worked for the king, you could’ve easily mistaken him for the crown prince.

“You shouldn’t be here y/n” his breath against your forehead and placing a gentle, soft kiss. “The prince is going to enter the ball soon”

You giggled shyly and mumbled, “sorry i was just curious” He smiled at your cuteness but shooed you away.

“Now hurry along, you have to catch the prince” he stared at your figure as you hurried back to the ball room.

“Nice choice. I always thought the florist was one beautiful lady.” Seungcheol said as he smiled.

Joshua on the other hand went up and asked, “Is she the one?”

“Oh boy, she’s definitely the one” Jeonghan mumbled happily, his eyes filled with adoration at the thought of you.

Seungcheol and Joshua smiled, satisfied.

“The Prince will now take his place on the throne before choosing a partner for his dance” One of the royal staff announced.

You realised you haven’t actually seen the prince, the royal family was very secretive about the media. You glanced up at the thrones seated above the floor.

“Please bow to His Majesty, The Crown Prince, Yoon Jeonghan” Your eyes immediately widened. Your mouth dropped and even thought you instinctively bowed you kept your eyes on Jeonghan.

His eyes were already on you, he smirked at you and waved to the rest. There he was, standing proud in the crown and handsome as ever. Your heart started beating faster.

As Jeonghan climbed down the stairs from the platform, his eyes were still on you. Never moving away.

A path was made by everyone as he walked onto the floor. It was completely silent as everyone watched his every move.

Who was he going to pick?

it wasn’t hard for Jeonghan as he made his way slowly to you. Everyone stared as he stopped infront of you. You were frozen for a split second before you remembered to curtesy.

Jeonghan said in the gentlest voice, ringing through the whole room. “Would you do me a pleasure, and dance with me?” Everyone gasped as you nodded and he kissed your palm affectionately.

The music started playing. A soft tune, a gentle melody. Everyone stared at the two of you as you placed your arm around his shoulder and he moved his other arm around your waist.

It was like everyone else beside you disappeared as he spun you around. You were lost in his dark brown orbs and his scent that made you want to hug him as tight as possible. It was hazy yet the only thing you could see clearly was Jeonghan.

“Y/n?” you continued to stare at him.

His arm on your waist tightened slightly as he pulled you in closer to whisper in your ear

“You look absolutely stunning darling” you looked away shyly.

“I also forgot to mention, i’m the prince” He winked. You pouted and shook your head at him.

“To me, you’ll always be Jeonghan. The handsome, gentle yet playful man i’m in love with” You said as he twirled you around.

Other partners started to dance around the two of you. The music changed, a different song but the same soft vibe

“Then would you, Y/n L/n give me the honour, and be my queen?” Your eyes widened at his request. He glanced at you nervously and your eyes started to water. You pulled him in and hugged him tightly as he spun your around.

“Yes! yes! yes! i will” Jeonghan smiled widely as he pulled you away from the ball room to the throne platform to meet his Father.

“Father is going to love you as much as i do Y/n, which is a lot” You giggled at his words.

He presented you with a proud smile, his arm around your waist protectively. “Father, this is Y/n. Y/n, er the king, my father”

you curtsied you His Majesty and the Queen as Jeonghan continued, “I’ve decided and have the permission from her” His eyes on you, “to take her as my wife, the future queen”

“No” His stepmother said harshly. Her eyes were cold and glared daggers at you. “You will not marry this low-life. Bringing dishonour and embarrassment to the royal family? Unacceptable” She said. She then pointed to you, “Especially this one. Her mother is nothing but a raging alcoholic, wasting her life away. She could only be pretending to be kind to you because of your wealth”

Jeonghan glared back at her and his grip on you tightened. “You are in no position to tell me what to do Stepmother. Of all people, you’re the one telling me to be scared of gold diggers like you? Maybe you should be teaching that crash course to father. Who was decieved by you” He said in a serious manner.

You glanced away. Jeonghan’s stepmother’s words reminding you of the way your own mother treated you.

“You’re really just a piece of garbage. Why did i even give birth to you?”

You let go of Jeonghan.

“Hannie” catching Jeonghan’s attention.

“She’s right” you said lowly

Jeonghan whipped his head to you as you smiled sadly at him, “E-even if we do get married, i won’t be able to give you anything. You really deserve someone better” Jeonghan shook his head, his arm reaching to catch hold of yours as you started running to the entrance and back home where you were sure Jeonghan wouldn’t find you. 

“Y/n wait-- no please” Jeonghan shouted after you. Joshua and Seungcheol following behind. You immeditately boarded the same carriage you came from. The shop lady’s son looked back ta you for a moment with worried eyes. The tears started to fall as you were sent back home. 

Jeonghan tried chasing after you on his horse but his stepmother and Father told the guards to close the gates before he had the chance to leave. 

“Jeonghan, you’re better off without her” his stepmother tried convincing him. His father studied Jeonghan’s behaviour. “Let’s go and meet the other suitors--”

“No” his father said 

The king went up to Jeonghan, ‘’I’m sorry i didn’t see it before son, now go after her” He then turned to his wife, “I can’t believe i ever saw kindness in you. Your heart is made of greed and believe me, you’ll get what you deserve. In jail” 

As the guards took away the screaming ex queen, The king turned to Jeonghan. “I was close to Y/n’s Father, he was one of the best guards we ever trained. After sacrificing himself in the war, his wife, Y/n’s mother, fell into a dark place. They were a kind family and i bellieve Y/n has a heart of gold considering she thought of your needs before hers” 

Jeonghan nodded and he realised exactly how strong you were for all these years. He quickly left to find you. You weren’t at the flower shop so he asked around about you.

“Her cottage is near the fields, why? what happened to Y/n” A shop lady asked him. But he took off before he could answer her. 

His horse raced through the night as his mind went back to you. Your small acts of kindness, to him, to the townfolks. You went throught so much when you were younger, you’ve been alone and by yourself the whole time. But now, he wanted to be beside you, go through everything with you. 

Your sad smile flashed in his mind, he never wanted to see a similar expression from you again. 

Even after learning your history and family situation, Jeonghan wanted you more than ever.

He caught you walking towards a lit cottage, rubbing your arms up and down to keep warm. 

“Y/n!” you turned behind, recognising his voice. You stopped in your tracks as he dismounted his horse and came up to you. 

“You don’t have to give me anything. You’ve already given me enough, more than enough” Jeonghan whispered. You began to shake your head but Jeonghan continued, “I only need one thing from you, your love” You teared up again

“But your stepmothe--” 

Jeonghan scoffed at the mention of her, “Darling, i believe you mean that golddigger. Yeah my dad finally saw how greedy she is and now she’s gonna rot in jail” He took hold of your hands, “But forget about her, what will your answer be?” You stared into his eyes, you knew he was going to make you happy. 

“Would you take a girl like me” you asked him softly. 

“Y/n sweetie, you could wear a potato sack and still look like the most beautiful woman i’ve ever met” 

“Then i’ll be your queen” Jeonghan carried you and spun you around. He brought you closer to him, his hand rubbing your cheek and finally sealing the promise with a kiss

“Honey? I need some help with your son” Jeonghan chuckled again and got out of his seat in his office. He wrapped an arm around your pregnant figure and greeted you with a kiss. 

“Playing hide and seek again?” You pouted 

“The castle is too damn big for me hannie” Jeonghan shook his head and ran around. “Now where is my little prince?”

You smiled as Jeonghan caught your son and twirled him around. Rubbing your tummy, you realised how perfect your life had become. Recently, your mother finally started to limit her drinking and even started to work at the flower shop again with your abscence. 

She apologised for the way she has treated you and although the two of you weren’t very close, you were happy with her improvement and even learnt to forgive her. 

The previous king started travelling the world and occasionally visiting and bringing presents for his grand kid and children. He had taken a liking with you quickly and saw you as his daughter. 

Seungcheol and Joshua has also became very close to you and your son. With Joshua teaching him music and linguistics and Seungcheol training him in various sports. 

Your son came up to hug your leg, “Mummy, mummy! Daddy found me..You took too long”

“What are you thinking about?” Jeonghan whispered to you. All of you stared outside the window. 

“Nothing, i was just thinking about how much i treasure you guys.” Jeonghan nuzzled into your neck

“I finally feel free” 

[misscrazyfangirl321]

I'm sending this to you, because you might be able to do something with it, but don't feel pressured to do anything but share it. And even then it's ok to not do that.

But. Henry sitting at his computer with his baby sleeping in a baby wrap and Henry using baby has a means to 'rubber ducking' (talking to them while he tries to figure out a programming error or something.)

“Hey, can I talk to you about something?” 

Alice squirms in her sleep, and Henry waits until she settles again to continue. Luckily, she’s a heavy sleeper-she might have gotten that from him-and after a beat, she relaxes.

“Great. I appreciate that. See, the thing is, the doc’s birthday is coming up. I know, I know,” he adds. “She doesn’t normally celebrate it. Always says that after the first century, she didn’t see the point. But she spent all that time in the past, you know?”

His daughter is an excellent listener, he decides. She doesn’t interrupt, doesn’t fuss, just lies there peacefully. 

“And after she came back, things were kind of crazy.” 

It was hard on Will, he knows: being kept in the dark. Nikola hated it, too. It was different for Henry. He trusts the doc completely, but he’s used to her not telling him everything. For years, he asked her not to tell him everything, because if people tortured him for information, he didn’t want to have any to give. (Funny, to think of the days when he was so afraid of what others could do to him.) 

But Nikola and Will didn’t like being on the outside, and Henry knows that wore on Magnus as well. She doesn’t care what most people think of her, but two of the most important people in her life were hurting because of her, and that must of have been awful for her.

“I just want to do something nice for her. Nothing wrong with that, right?”

If anyone deserves it, she does.

“Maybe I should just give her something the day after her birthday. Or the day before. Then it wouldn’t be a birthday present, just a... Present.”

Alice’s face scrunches, but she doesn’t stir.

“Really? You think so?” 

He takes a moment to be grateful that Nikola isn’t here to see him chatting up a storm with his newborn. Though the guy does have vampire hearing, so he may just be saving up blackmail for later. Great. 

“Something small. I can leave it on her desk when she’s not there. That way, if she doesn’t want to say anything about it, she doesn’t have to.” For that matter... “Maybe I shouldn’t even leave a note. Who’d complain about an anonymous present?”

There’s no way Alice’s judgement is all in Henry’s mind. 

“No, I’m not scared.” 

...

“Right. Security cameras. Okay, no secret presents.”

Not that Magnus would need the cameras. She’s always had a terrifying ability to know things she shouldn’t possibly know; when they were kids, he and Ashley honestly believed she was some kind of telepath. 

“What do I even get her? It’s not like she ever asks for anything outside of work.” Of course, they live at work, so that gets complicated, but still. “Ashley would know what she wants.”

His breath catches. Alice doesn’t even know that name. She’ll never know Ashley. (He knew that, logically, just as he knows that at this exact moment, it doesn’t really matter; she can’t understand anything he said. And yet...)

“Yeah, you’d have loved your aunt Ashley. She was spunky, like your mother. Like the doc, or Kate, or-man, you’re going to be ruling the world by the time you can walk, aren’t you?”

He can already picture it: the doc and Kate teaching her to fight, showing her how to command respect without a word, and encouraging her mischief (even as the doc pretends she’s trying to keep her in line). 

“Ashley was so brave, kid. One of the bravest people I’ve ever known. And she’d have loved you so much. Would’ve had you pranking me at every turn, though.” 

It still aches, thinking of Ashley, but he can’t help the smile tugging at his lips. Those two would have been a force to be reckoned with, he thinks. 

“Wow, we got off-track. Listen, Alice, I’m going to need you to stop chasing rabbits, okay?” Might as well get away with it now, before the doc teaches her the ‘Magnus Stare.’ “Think. What do we want to give the doc for her birthday?” 

Her face is serene, and he sighs, tracing a thumb across her cheek. She’s so tiny. How is she so tiny? 

“Hey, do you think she’d like a sword?” 

Granted, she mostly prefers a gun or a stunner for combat, but she did have a pretty nice weapon’s collection back at the Old City Sanctuary. She brought a few of them down here ahead of time, but her collection definitely took a hit. 

He’s going on a mission aboveground in a few days, and he knows just where to look.

“You know something, Alice? You’re pretty good at this whole advice thing. Want to help me out with this programming thing I’ve been trying to figure out?”

He counts it as a coincidence that she chooses that moment to wake up, crying for food. 

[worryinglyinnocent]

Fic: Haven (9/50)

Summary: They say Resembool is a haven, and they’re right. Lush pastures, quaint country town, farmers’ markets on Saturdays: a bucolic paradise.

But it’s more than that. Resembool is a haven for the runaways, the deserters, the people who don’t want to be found…

The Resembool community knows there’s something odd about Hohenheim, but they’re not going to let that stop them helping him out. This is Resembool after all, a place where no one has to hide and neighbours help neighbours, be they building a fence, chasing a sheep, or trying to save the country from an evil they inadvertently helped release centuries ago…

Or: A series of slices of life in an AU in which Hohenheim never leaves, and several broken state alchemists find hope and home in Resembool.

Rated: T

==

Haven

[1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [AO3]

Summary:  During her second pregnancy, Trisha satisfies an unusual craving and reflects on their growing family.

Characters: Trisha, Hohenheim

Pairing: Trisha/Hohenheim

For the most part, Trisha has found her second pregnancy to be much easier than her first. Knowing what to expect this time around, she’s been prepared for the morning sickness and the aching and cramping, and maybe it’s just psychological but they don’t seem to be anywhere near as bad this time. 

The thing she is not prepared for is the cravings. 

She hadn’t had any with Ed, at least, not that she’d noticed. She hadn’t wanted anything out of the ordinary. And she hadn’t wanted to eat at odd times of the day.

This one, however, has decided that it wants the strangest combinations of foods possible at the strangest times imaginable, which is why Van has just entered the kitchen at three o’clock in the morning to find her making a honey and tomato sandwich. 

For a long time, he just stares at her in confusion. She can forgive the confusion. It’s three o’clock in the morning and he’s just spent twenty minutes getting Ed back to sleep. He’s probably not completely with it at the moment. 

“Is that honey?”

“Yes.”

“And tomatoes?”

“Yes.”

“In a sandwich?”

“Yes.”

He opens his mouth to say something and then just shakes his head, deciding better of it.

“Come on, Van, this is not the weirdest thing you’ve seen me eat in the last five months.”

“That’s true.” He looks at the sandwich with something akin to fear in his expression, grabbing a glass of water and retreating out of the kitchen quickly. “I’m going back to bed, enjoy your… concoction.”

Trisha just laughs and tucks into her sandwich, looking down at the bump that’s undeniably starting to show. She hadn’t even realised she was pregnant again at the beginning, figuring that it had to be impossible, just six months after Ed was born and still breast-feeding. Even Pinako was surprised by it, but Trisha has long since accepted that nothing about her life since meeting Van was ever going to be ordinary. 

(She thinks they’ll have to be a bit more careful after this one’s born. As much as she likes the thought of a big family, she’d prefer them all to be a bit more spaced out.)

To say that Van reacted with mild panic when she told him she was expecting again would be something of an understatement. He loves Ed so much and he really wanted to have a family, but it took him a long time to get used to fatherhood and even though he’s comfortable with Ed now, he’s still worried about doing it wrong. Maybe it’s because he spent so, so long without a family that he’s just plain terrified of messing up the one he’s now got. 

Still, he got used to the idea fairly quickly and he seems much calmer this time around than he did before. She wonders if he’ll have the same kind of reaction to the new baby as he did to Ed, or if things will come easier to him now. She hopes they will; it was sad to watch him second-guessing himself whilst she had bonded with her first-born so quickly and easily. 

Sandwich eaten and craving satisfied for now, Trisha makes her way back upstairs, pausing on the landing to look into the darkened nursery and check on Ed, now sleeping peacefully after his earlier wakefulness. 

Naturally she has no pictures of Van from his early years, but she’s sure that he would have looked like Ed does as a baby. Ed already has his father’s eyes and nose, and his hair is rapidly lightening from the brown it had been when he was born, more like hers, to a dark gold. 

Ed gives a squeaky little snore and Trisha smiles. He can be a little devil sometimes but she wouldn’t change him for the world, and when he’s asleep, he’s one of the most beautiful things that Trisha can imagine. She steps out of the doorway and pads softly down the landing towards her own room. Hopefully his brother or sister will let her get some rest as well. 

She slips into bed beside Van, who rolls over and spoons up behind her, hand coming around to rest on her belly. It’ll still be a while yet before they feel a proper kick, but once they do, Trisha really hopes that this baby won’t be quite as active as Ed was. Once he got going it felt like he was dancing a Drachman jig inside her for the last couple of months. It was exhausting just feeling it. 

She interlaces her fingers with Van’s, waiting for sleep to take her.

“How was the sandwich?” he mumbles sleepily.

“Delicious. I’ll make you one too next time.”

“I’ll pass.” There’s a long pause and she thinks that he’s nodded off until he speaks again. “Do you think this one’s a boy or a girl? You were so certain with Ed.”

“I think he’s another boy. Not quite as boisterous as Ed was, but I’m still thinking boy.” Another long pause. “You should probably think of some girl names just in case though.”

“Why me?”

“I chose Edward. It’s only fair you choose this one’s name.”

“I like Alphonse. Maybe Alice for a girl.”

Trisha has to wonder. She knows not to prod at the old wounds, that Xerxes is difficult for him to talk about at the best of times, but she does sometimes ponder if there was anyone that he would want to honour in that way, by having their name live on. He knows the names of every single soul in his veins, and Trisha knows he won’t name their baby after any of them for fear of the others feeling left out. But maybe there was someone in his life before all that happened. After all, he had to have a mother at some point. 

She pushes the thought away and rubs her belly. 

“Be good in there, Alphonse, ok? We’ll see you soon.”

Trisha likes to think she feels a little flutter of movement in response.

[imagine-that]

Being with George after the battle... headcanon

So George is absolutely traumatized after the battle of hogwarts

Like, he literally lost his other half

He was hurting BAD

But he has you by his side

And that helps

You’re technically still a Hogwarts student though

And you intend on finishing your schooling

So you can’t be there all the time

But when you are

He always has a hand on you somewhere

Whether it’s on your waist, intertwined with your own hand, on your shoulder, anything

He always has his hands on you

But you don’t protest

You actually kind of love it

And you know it’s a comfort thing for him

He doesn’t want you out of his sight in fear of losing you

So he stays with you as often as possible

Bby is clingy but in the cutest way

He always asks to be sure it’s ok to keep holding onto you

He doesn’t like the idea of you being uncomfortable

But again, you don’t mind it

He tries to get you to pull pranks with him

But it never feels the same for him as it would with Fred

He often needs a few moments to himself after a prank

The joke shop is his pride and joy because he knows how proud Fred would be

And he’s always very pleased when he makes a sale

Because he often felt it was easier to sell things when there were two of them there to advertise it

You try to help out at the shop as much as possible when you aren’t in class

He helps with your studies as much as possible

Which isn’t usually much because neither of them ever took much interest in studies

Harry ended up giving him the map back because memories

And so you get the honour of being one of the only people to know about it

He tells you so many stories of the times he and Fred used it for mischief

And so when he starts sneaking into Hogwarts when he misses you

You always know exactly how he did it

He sneaks into your dorm at night

By now the others in your house are used to it

They just pretend they don’t know he’s there

Because they know he’s going through a pretty tough time and needs love and comfort

They also know he only has eyes for you so it’s not a big deal or anything

He’ll scare the crap out of you sneaking into your room when possible

But if you’re already asleep or in bed

He’ll just crawl in behind you and wrap an arm around your waist

And he’ll nuzzle his face into the crook of your neck

Just to hear your breathing

Because that keeps him calm

Sometimes he has nightmares and starts crying or flailing around

So you try to calm him down

He loves when you just talk about your day until he settles

Or when you sing to him super quietly

Whether your voice sounds awful to you or not, you sound like an absolute angel to him

It’s legit his favourite sound ever

When he sleeps peacefully it’s your favourite sound ever

On Holidays you sleep at the Burrow

And usually wake up to him cuddled up close to you

Or to him making coffee and winking over at you playfully

His family absolutely ADORES you

They see how much you take care of him when he needs it

And how lovingly the two of you look at each other

You definitely have the full Weasley family stamp of approval

There are several times where he breaks down

He’ll just look at his reflection for less than half a second

And next thing you know

You have to talk him out of cutting all his hair or dying it

Because he’s freaking out about only ever seeing Fred when he looks in the mirror

Which absolutely SHATTERS your heart

You run a hand over his back to help him calm himself

And if that doesn’t work

You take the map and sneak down to the kitchen

And take a bunch of comfort food

Bring it back to your room and force George to eat something

He agrees very reluctantly

He knows not to argue with you about that kind of thing

He thinks he’s completely stealthy with his sneak ins

But without Fred he’s not quite as subtle

Professor McGonagall knows every single time he sneaks in

But she doesn’t say anything

She knows he’s been through a lot in the past few years

And she wanted to help him as much as possible without it being pity

Of course, neither of you knew that

She just pretended to be oblivious to it all this time

George will often take you out for adventures

Sometimes they turn out great

Others turn out very... interesting

“George, I’m covered in food. Did you HAVE to start a food fight at the three broomsticks?!”

He’ll probably just trail behind you into your classes

Professors are all either elated or terrified to see him, there’s no in between

Sometimes when he’s having a super rough day

He’ll just hug you from behind

And he’ll just stay there like that until he feels better

Other times it’s not as easy

So you suggest the two of you visit Fred’s grave

To which he agrees

He’s very glad to have you there to help him

You’re definitely his rock

He doesn’t really know how he could possibly show you his love and gratitude for all you’d done

So he just does what he thinks is right

He lets you choose something from the Joke Shop for free

Which very rarely happened

You, of course, decided on a pygmy puff

And when you decide to name it

You name it Freddy

And that brings some very happy tears to George

“You have no idea how much that really means to me y/n, thank you.”

He is IN LOVE with the little guy too

Like he loves you too obviously

And he says he loves you equally

But that little Pygmy Puff is his everything

He snuggles up to Freddy a lot

He pets him all the time

And he talks to him in a baby voice constantly

When you show up to the joke shop without him, George pouts

“Y/n! You’re here! But where’s little Freddy?!”

You don’t really mind because you think it’s pretty cute

And it just shows you he’d make a great dad someday

Because you already knew he was the only one for you

And he said the same to you

You’re both super smitten

He comes to all your quidditch games

You can always tell where he is in the stands

Because he’s cheering louder than anybody else

And has his entire face painted your house colours

And there’s a little fuzz ball of a Pygmy Puff on his shoulder

After games he sneaks you out for dates

And you love when he does

They’re always unique and spontaneous

Just the way you like it

Once you finished Hogwarts, he proposed

All of his family was there

It was super emotional for everyone

But in a good way

Molly immediately starts discussing wedding details with you

And it’s kind of overwhelming at first

But she does it because she loves you both

And you know that

Fleur is also all over it

She adores you and fashion and decorating so of course she’s helping

Ginny tries to but it’s not really her thing

Yours and George’s favourite part was cake tasting

He was goofing off the entire time

Which made it difficult to choose one

But you did eventually

And then the day of the wedding came

It was very simple

To both your taste

Your bridesmaids were Fleur, Hermione and Ginny

Arthur walked you down the aisle because your own father wasn’t there

George refused to have a best man

He felt that space should be left for Fred

He looks at you like you’re the only person to ever walk the planet

And vice versa

You wrote your own vows

And his were kind of silly and fun

While yours were more serious and heartfelt

Because that was just the way you both meshed

After the wedding you moved into a place of your own

And ended up with twins

A girl, Rosie

And a boy, Fred jr

George wasn’t sure about the name for Fred jr

He thought it would be too much for him to handle

But as soon as he met your son

He knew it was suited to him too

They help around the joke shop when they’re old enough

And George loves to tell them stories about his and Fred’s mischief at Hogwarts

By the time they get there

They’re considered Fred and George part 2

Teachers have just as much trouble with them

And you get lots of letters home

Which results in lots of howlers to them

They frustrate you a lot

But they’re the loves of your lives

And you and George wouldn’t have it any other way

[slytherinbarnes]

Sub Rosa [68]

x. the warriors will

Pairing: Bellamy Blake x reader

Word Count: 5.3k

Warnings: mentions of suicidal thoughts and Shumway, fighting, violence, injuries, language, mentions of blood.

Summary: Your worst nightmare becomes your current reality; you and Bellamy are put into the fighting pits together, alongside Indra and Gaia. Who will be the last?

a/n: THIS IS MY FAVORITE EPISODE TO DATE! I’m so excited to hear what you guys think of this chapter, I hope you like it!!! the taglist for this series is open! I hope you enjoy, please let me know what you think!!!

previous chapter // season masterlist // series masterlist

You forgot how excruciating it is to wait for death, but your current confinement is quick to remind you.

It’s strange how each time is worse than the last. When you were in the Skybox, locked up in solitary, abused by Shumway, you rarely feared death. At times, you almost looked forward to it, and the idea that you’d finally be free of the abuse and pain was enough to make you wish your 18th birthday would come sooner. But then you’d remember Clarke and your mom, and despite your strained relationship with them both, you didn't want to leave them behind. When Pike arrested you with Kane, Lincoln, and Sinclair, that longing for death never came. You were terrified of the idea that you’d lose Clarke, Bellamy, Octavia, your friends, your life. Suddenly you had all these things that were yours. People that loved you, people you loved, threatened by Pike and his tyrannous rule, the dictator of Skaikru all too eager to take that away from you. But then you were saved and that fear passed, and you thought you were done with waiting to die.

Until Octavia’s tyrannous rule over Wonkru brought all that fear rushing back to you. Just like before, you have even more to lose than the last time you faced this wait. Now you have a niece, bright as the sun, who has brought you joy and comfort through some of the hardest years you’ve had to live through. Madi was always there to remind you of Bellamy and his love for you, giving you the strength to go on and keep fighting, even when you didn't want to. And though you aren't sure if you have Bellamy’s love anymore, you’ll never get the chance to know for sure. You’ll die while having a broken relationship with Bellamy, and you’ll die having a broken relationship with your twin. You just wish you had a chance to explain everything to her before she was whisked away, but it’s too late now. Now, as you await death, is not the time for regrets. Instead, you know you should reminisce on the good times you’ve had, the high points in your life, but you’re not sure you have the strength in your heart to do it. Remembering all you had and all you could have will just hurt you more than anything, reminding you that moments like that will never happen to you again.

You pull your eyes open and stare at the gray ceiling, shifting your eyes over to the symbol of Wonkru that hangs on the wall, printed onto a red strip of fabric. The more you stare at it, the more you realize it’s heavily inspired by Lincoln. The handle of the sword symbol is made up of the tattoos that went down the back of Lincoln’s head. The same tattoos, you finally realize, that were adorned on Cooper’s face. The tattoos from his chest that Octavia used for her war paint during the Final Conclave, make up the blade of the sword. You feel a rush of sadness as you remember Lincoln and his death, his legacy still so evident even years after he was killed. It hangs like a ghost over everything Octavia is, everything she does, though you suspect that recently she must have forgotten. Something tells you that peacekeeping Lincoln, so determined to unite Skaikru and Grounders that he died for his cause, would not be a fan of the fighting pits. 

You start to wonder what Lincoln thought of in his last moments. Was his imprisonment as excruciating as yours is panning out to be? Was it worse once he was left behind by the rest of you? Was he scared to die? What did it feel like? Did it hurt? The more you start to think about it, the more you resent going out this way, likely bleeding out on the floor of a bunker in some slow and painful way. If you had to choose, you’d choose a death that was calm, painless, and hopefully one you never saw coming. Something about knowing this is the end, reminds you of all the things you left unsaid, all the things you never got to do.

You are suddenly pulled out of your spiral of thoughts by the sound of a door scraping open, letting you know you have a visitor. You don't move from your place, sure it’s no one interesting, and you just keep your gaze locked on the ceiling as you spread out on the bench in the room the best you can. 

“It’s funny, Bellamy was in the exact same position you’re in when I went to see him.”

Your head snaps to the side, surprised to see Octavia stepping into the room, and you sit up, fighting the flash of anger that threatens to rise from the arrival of your friend, your sister. You say nothing to her, not sure you can bite your tongue and keep your comments to yourself. You just turn towards the door to the room, making space for her to settle on the bench opposite of you, careful to keep her distance. You’re sure she knows how pissed you are, but you don't know if that’s why she stays away. “I just came to tell you, the four of you will be fighting in the arena later today.”

“I figured.”

“This is not what I wanted.” You turn to her, giving her a look that lets her know you aren’t buying her bullshit, but the expression on her face is sincere, almost pleading. “I didn’t want you to fight, any of you. But half of my army is refusing to march, too interested in following a child Commander than me. This is the only way we get to the valley.”

You scoff and look away from her again. “Wrong. We had a way to get to the valley, and no one had to die. All you had to do was surrender.”

“This war is inevitable. If you think we could live peacefully with those-”

You cut her off, your voice rising, “We won’t ever know if we could live peacefully with them, now will we? Because you are so addicted to the power you hold that you refuse to see the options all around you! Everything doesn't have to be a fight, Octavia!”

“Yes, it does! Down here it does! We have fought for our lives, our survival, from the moment we landed on the ground. That didn't change when we got locked in this bunker 6 years ago. Nothing about living in this damned bunker was easy!”

She chokes up on the last word, and despite yourself, you feel a wave of sympathy for her. You turn to her, eyes searching her face, seeing all the ghosts that haunt her. Your voice is low, much lower than before when you ask, “What happened down here, Octavia?”

“The Dark Year happened.”

“What is that? What does that mean?”

She stands suddenly, turning away from you. “I don't want to talk to you about the Dark Year, that’s not why I’m here.”

“You already told me why you’re here. So if that’s all…”

You trail off, hoping she gets the point, understands the silent ‘piss off’ that you don't say. But she doesn't. She turns to look at you, her expression serious. “Do you love my brother?”

You balk at her, “You know I do.”

“Enough to save his life?”

“Yes.”

“Even if it costs you your own?” 

You think of sneaking into Mount Weather, and spying on Pike, and watching a rocket blast into the sky as a death wave comes barreling towards you. Without hesitation, you reply, “Yes.”

“I tried to help him and tell him how to beat Gaia and Indra, but he wouldn't listen. He’s refusing to fight. Despite everything he’s done, including poisoning me, I don’t want him to die. If you fight and take out Indra and Gaia, you’ll save his life.”

“And what about me? You asked if I'd give my life up to save him.”

She sighs, looking upset, her voice quieter. “I can't save you both. Wonkru needs to be scared, or they won't march. Normally when someone refuses to fight, I step in for an execution. Stage a protest alongside Bellamy, and when I come down, attack me. I’ll make your death quick, painless, and Bellamy will survive because of your sacrifice. The people want a show, and you can give them one.”

You think of Clarke and Madi, safe, together, probably in the valley by now. With your mom, and Kane, and your friends. All in some sort of danger, but a danger that will end as soon as the war is won. Bellamy, however, is in a different kind of danger, more immediate, more absolute, because there can only be one victor. Most of your family is safe, except for him. Bellamy needs you, and you have never abandoned him before. You aren't about to start now. You nod, letting Octavia know you’re open to the idea and she mutters, “Good. Indra has a weakness, her shoulder never fully healed from the bullet Pike put in her. If you and Bellamy can get the swords, you can make her wield the hammer. It’s too heavy to use with one arm. Gaia will go for the staff, but knowing Indra, she’ll make sure her daughter is out of the way first before she turns to attack either of you. Once you take care of Indra, then you can worry about Gaia. After that, it’s just you and Bellamy. Make your protest, and I'll execute you.”

She holds out her arm to you, the Grounder way, the warrior way. “Do we have a deal?”

But before you take it, you look her in her eyes, tip up your jaw, and square your shoulders. “I will only save Bellamy if you swear Madi and Clarke will be okay. You will not harm them, and you will give them your protection.”

You see Octavia’s jaw clench, hating the idea, but you know you have her backed into a corner. This is the only way she can save her brother, through your sacrifice, and she won’t risk that. “Fine.”

You sag with relief and clasp your arm onto hers, sealing your deal. As she releases you, she motions towards the door. “I’ll allow you to see him one last time before the arena. Say your goodbyes, but say them quickly.”

You smile at her, genuinely happy she’s offering you this chance. “Thank you, Octavia.”

She nods and heads towards the door, informing the guard of the plans. He motions for you to follow him down the dark hallway, towards another room a few doors down. Before he unlocks the door, he glances at you. “You have three minutes.”

“Okay.”

As soon as he sees that you understand, he unlocks the door and swings it open, and you scurry inside quickly, not wanting to waste time. He hammers the point home when he grunts, “Three minutes, that’s it.”

Bellamy is sitting on the bench, his hands clasped in front of him, head bowed, but he looks up when he hears the commotion by the door. When he sees you, he whispers your name, shocked and confused, and you quickly close the space between the two of you. You drop to your knees in front of him, grabbing his face in your hands and forcing him to stop talking and look at you. “Bell, listen, we don’t have a lot of time.”

His eyes lock on yours, and once you have his full attention, you continue, “Clarke and Madi are safe and together, my mom has Kane, our friends have each other. All of the people I love are safe and accounted for, except for you. I can't have that.”

He opens his mouth to say something, but you shake your head, not quite done. “Octavia told me you won't fight, which is why I’m going to fight for you. She told me how to take out Gaia and Indra, leaving just the two of us.”

“I won’t kill you.”

You shake your head, tears welling up in your eyes as you realize you’re having this conversation, probably your last conversation, and it’s all about death. Your death. “I’m not asking you to. Octavia has a plan, one that will get her into the ring with the two of us. All you need to know, is that she’ll take care of it so that you don’t have to.”

You see tears well up in his eyes as he realizes what you're saying. That you’re going to die, whether he participates or not, and his sister will make sure of it. “I won't watch you die in that arena either. I already lost you once, I won't lose you again.”

His words hit you in the chest, tearing your heart wide open. You thumb away the tears that fall down his cheeks as you give him a watery smile. “You have to, Bellamy. One of us has to die, and it should be me. This is the last thing I have to do before the end, just let me do it. Let me save you.”

He starts to protest, but he’s cut off by the guard opening the door. “Time’s up!”

You see panic flash in Bellamy’s eyes, and his hands quickly lift to your face and pull you forward, crashing his lips to yours. You feel your tears mix with his as they run down your face, and you savor the last kiss you’ll ever get from the man you love. It says everything that’s been left unsaid, everything you need to know before you die. Bellamy Blake still loves you, and he doesn't want to lose you. And right now, on the brink of your death, that’s enough to get you through. That’s enough to make you fight.

The guard pulls you back and to your feet roughly, grunting out, “I said time is up.”

Each word feels like a punch to your heart, but there is nothing else you can do now. You allow the guard to take you from the room and lead you down the hall, just outside the door to the atrium. Gaia and Indra are already there, talking quietly, but they stop as soon as they hear you approach. You glance over at them, and they look at you, all of you sharing one collective thought: in a few minutes, at least one of you will be dead. If you play your part right, all three of you will be.

The gate behind you squeaks open and Bellamy is led up to your group. He looks distressed, now trying to figure out a way to save you both, and he whispers loud enough for all of you to hear, “What if none of us fight?”

“It's been tried. You get executed.”

“Good, means she'll have to do it herself. We can overpower her, all four of us.”

Indra turns to look at him like he’s crazy. “With hundreds of her supporters in that room? Guns in their hands? We’ll be dead before we can even lift a finger towards her.”

And before any of you can say anything else, the guard near the door calls out, “Line up!”

You all fall into line, Gaia in the lead, followed by Indra, then you, with Bellamy at the rear. As soon as you’re ready, the door is beeped open and you all file inside, taking your place inside the arena. You hear the gate close behind you and lock, and fear constricts your stomach until you remind yourself what you’re fighting for. Clarke and Madi’s safety. Bellamy’s survival.

You scan the fence, clocking the location of the weapons. The staff is near Gaia, the swords are on the side near you and Bellamy, making your retrieval much easier. The hammer is up ahead. Good. If you can scoot around Bellamy, you can make a mad dash for the swords and make it before everyone else. You are eventually pulled out of your head when Octavia stands from her throne at the top, and when you lift your gaze to her, you can see blood streaked onto her face, her expression hard. “We gather here today to remind ourselves what happens to the enemies of Wonkru. It doesn't matter who you are. If you choose sides against us, if you divide us, if you defy us, then you are not us.”

“Before we give these traitors a second chance to be called…” She trails off and glances around at those gathered before her, her eyes moving down the line, starting with Bellamy. “Brother, sister, or Seda, we pay tribute to those who have died so that we might live.”

She dips her head and closes her eyes. “Omon gon oson.” 

The room repeats the prayer and then she lifts her head again, gaze locking on yours. You feel the muscle in your legs tense, an early warning things are about to start, and then she mutters, “Be the last.”

As soon as she says the words, everything else melts away. You no longer see or hear the people watching you, and your thoughts are focused only on one thing: survive until it’s time to die. You take off running towards the swords, past Bellamy who stays frozen in place. You can hear Gaia and Indra fighting behind you, but you ignore it, grabbing both swords off the wall so the others can't get them. When you turn around, Bellamy is still frozen, and Gaia is knocked out in the corner, just like Octavia predicted. You and Indra lock eyes, not wanting to kill each other, but aware that both of you are fighting to save someone else, and you run towards each other, letting out loud cries of anger as you do. 

You swing one of the swords towards her and she knocks it out of your hand easily, getting you down to one. You toss the sword from your left hand to your right as you circle her, before she lunges again, fueled by aggression. This time your sword clangs against her staff, stopped in its tracks, and she spins in place to attack you from the other side. You spin at the same time, blocking her blow again, drawing on every bit of training you’ve received over the years from your various sources. You and Indra match blow for blow for a few beats before she catches you off guard and slices your left shoulder, just below your mostly healed gunshot wound. You are so deep in survivor mode that you don’t even register the pain before you spin and slice her in the abdomen. 

The pain makes her even more aggressive, reminding her that Gaia’s life is at stake, and she uses the wood handle to spin the staff towards you and hit you across the face. The force of the blow sends you flying to the ground, and you bite back a groan of pain, spitting blood from your mouth as you try to ignore the sting of the hit. You hear someone in the crowd call your name, warning you to watch out, and you turn just in time to see Indra bringing the staff down towards you, inches from stabbing you in the chest. You don't have enough time to raise your sword so you roll away, out of the weapons path, turning to see her preparing to attack once more. Instead, as her staff swings towards you, it is stopped in its place by a sword. You follow the sword up to the arm and then to the face of the person holding it, meeting Bellamy’s eyes as he looks at you with worry. 

And then Indra begins her attack on him, both of them matching blow for blow before Bellamy cuts her arm, and she retaliates by cutting his shoulder, the same arm and the same place she cut you. You scramble to your feet and run over to the fighting pair, and you and Bellamy begin a two front assault on Indra, who works hard not to be easily overpowered by you both. Somehow she manages to cut Bellamy in the calf, and as you look at him in worry, she uses the distraction to kick you in the stomach, knocking you onto your back. You cough, all the air pushed out of your lungs forcefully, and you hear Bellamy and Indra fighting again before she knocks him on the ground too. You scramble towards her and grab her leg, tugging hard to knock her off balance, and she falls to the ground with a cry of pain. 

She turns and punches you in the face, and pain explodes behind your eye as stars dance in your vision. Gaia, who has finally woken up, runs over to her mother. You think she’s going to comfort her or attack you, but you’re surprised when she grabs the spear from her mother’s hand and steps away. She grunts out, “Keryon kom Heda: shoun ai meika op.”

Spirit of the Commanders: guide my hand. You have a split second to figure out what’s happening before she turns and aims her spear at Octavia. Everything after that happens in slow motion. You see realization pass over Bellamy’s face, and he jumps up as Gaia starts to throw the spear. He leaps at her and knocks her to the ground, but the weapon is already free of her fingers, flying towards Octavia. It lodges itself into the chair, inches from her head. 

Everyone in the room freezes and turns to look at the Red Queen, curious to see what she’s going to do. You rise to your feet, along with Bellamy, Gaia, and Indra, all 4 of you waiting for what’s next. She surprises you by throwing the spear back into the arena, where it clatters near your feet, and she snaps, “I said, be the last.”

All 4 of you stare at each other for a long second before scrambling towards weapons. You and Bellamy grab the swords, Gaia grabs the spear, and Indra pries the hammer off the wall, holding it with both hands. You all turn and face each other, crouched and ready to attack, when the door that leads to the rest of the bunker is pried open, and someone yells out, “Stop!”

You turn and see Monty stepping into the arena, carrying something covered in his hands, Harper on his heels. Bellamy yells, “Monty, get out of here!”

Octavia yells, “Guards, take him away!”

Harper turns and shoves a scrap of metal into the handle of the door, blocking anyone else from coming in, as Monty starts to talk to everyone gathered in the arena. “Octavia told you we have to march, that we have to fight for the one place left where we can survive, but she knows that's not true.” 

Octavia, sounding scared, yells down at him, “Monty, you do not belong in here!”

Monty ignores her and continues, tugging the blanket off the object in his arms, revealing a plant with multiple blooms on it. “The hydrofarm is working again! Soon, it'll be processing enough food to feed all of us here. Using the same techniques, we can grow crops in the wasteland. Ask Octavia, she's seen it with her own eyes.”

The room starts to mutter, growing restless and angry, and Monty directs his last sentence to Octavia. “Go to war if you want to, but at least tell them that they have a choice.”

Brell asks Octavia, “Is this true?”

But you can barely focus on anything going on around you, in disbelief that you are seemingly being saved by a vase of blooms now held up in Monty’s hands. Octavia stands in front of her throne, glaring down at Monty, when suddenly someone in the crowd yells, “Nou Blodreina nowe!”

Blodreina no more! There is a moment of hesitation before the crowd steadily starts to gather steam, yelling the chant over and over, encouraging a coup against their queen. The people start to tear away the gates around the arena, jumping down onto the floor with the rest of you, and you move your gaze from them to Octavia. You can see Miller saying something to her, pointing his gun at the rioting people, until Octavia puts her hand on his gun, lowering it, before she starts to walk away, towards the office. 

You and Bellamy share looks of disbelief, laughing, shocked that you’re both alive, before you turn your praise and attention to the man that saved you. You pull Monty into a hug, laughing, “Monty Green, you saved us! I could kiss you!”

He looks embarrassed to hear you say it, but you never get to hear his reaction because you are spun around by someone’s hands on your waist. You look up and see Bellamy grinning down at you, and he jokes, “How about you kiss me instead?”

You smile and retort, “It’d be my pleasure.”

He pulls you in for a kiss, your lips touching, zapping with electricity. Both of you stand in the middle of the arena, surrounded by a coup of protesters, kissing each other, in happy disbelief that you’re both alive. When you pull away, you both have matching goofy grins on your faces, high on love and life. You sense someone coming closer to the two of you, and you look over to meet Indra’s eyes, who extends her arm out to you. “Both of you fought well.”

The compliment makes you glow, meaning a lot coming from the skilled warrior, and you grip her arm in thanks. When you release her, Bellamy does the same, answering, “You, too.”

Your eyes find Gaia, both of you nodding at each other, before you look back to Bellamy, who is now praising Monty. “You did it.”

Monty, however, has his gaze firmly locked on the chair that was once occupied by Octavia, and his voice is worried when he questions, “Where'd she go?”

You nod towards the office door, “I saw her walking over there.”

Bellamy looks worried and starts to head that way, and all of you follow him, busting into the office and finding it empty. You look around, confused, before you remember the door that your mother brought you and Bellamy to when she went to take care of Jaha. You run over to it and tug on it, but it doesn't budge, jammed from the other side. You look over at Bellamy in alarm, and he catches on fast. “We have to find her.”

Monty looks around, not understanding. “Why? She didn't shoot us, right? That's gotta mean something.”

But Indra disagrees, something you take seriously knowing her closeness to Octavia. “It means she lost the battle, not the war. We should split up, but be careful. There are people here that would give their lives to save Blodreina.”

You all nod, about to do just that, when a sharp, piercing alarm starts to ring out in the room, echoing through the rest of the bunker. You all look around in confusion and Harper yells over the noise, “What's that?”

Gaia’s voice is one of quiet realization. “The fire alarm.”

You all look at each other with dread, and Monty says the one thing you’re all collectively thinking, his voice completely horrified. “The hydrofarm.”

He sets his blooms down on the table and heads for the door, Harper right behind him. The rest of you follow, tearing through the bunker as fast as you can, bursting into the room that opens up into the hydrofarm. When you do, you are instantly met with a wave of heat barreling towards you. A bright orange light flickers nearby, and as you all get closer, you can see why. The hydrofarm is up in flames, every last inch of it. Fire consumes every plant, every chance of life any of you had in this bunker, and Octavia stands in front of it, face devoid of any emotion. You all stare at her in horror, and Monty exclaims, “What did you do?”

Indra catches on first, her voice low. “Took away the choice.”

Octavia looks at each of you, looking slightly deranged as she stands silhouetted by the flames of her destruction. “You still have one: stay here and die, or march with me and live.”

And then she takes one last look at all of you and brushes past, leaving you to watch your last chance of peace go up in flames. 

-

All of Wonkru stands gathered outside the walls of the bunker, waiting for Octavia to arrive and give her commands. 

You and Bellamy sit with Harper and Monty, both of them very distraught over the loss of the hydrofarm. You’re finishing up the bandaging of Bellamy’s arena wounds, all of them very shallow, luckily. You checked on your bulletwound earlier, the stitches ready to come out, and Bellamy helped you remove them before bandaging up your new cut. Your shoulder wound isn't bad, not too deep at all, though you can't say the same for the nasty looking black eye already forming around your right eye. You’re thankful your eye isn't swollen shut, impeding your vision, mostly just looking worse than it actually is.

You finish securing Bellamy’s leg bandage and you whisper, “All done.”

“Thank you, natshana.”

You smile at the nickname, unheard to you for so long, before pulling him in for a kiss, only to be interrupted by someone clearing their throat behind you. You pull away from Bellamy and turn towards the sound, Miller now standing in front of you, holding out your knife and holster. “Blodreina wanted you to have this back.”

“Thanks.”

You take the holster from him, securing it to your thigh as Octavia finally exits the bunker, the crowd parting around her. She heads towards a pile of packs, snatching one off the top, before she walks away, already starting her march. Miller walks away from the rest of you and stands up on the cart holding the packs, yelling, “We got rations here for everyone, six days worth. That's enough to make it to the valley. Move out!”

Everyone begins to move, and Bellamy walks over to grab two packs as Indra walks up to you, holding out her arm. You grasp it, and she nods. “A warrior's death awaits.”

You nod, jaw clenched, not enthused at the thought, and she releases you before turning and following Gaia out of Polis. The crowd around you starts to thin, and Bellamy makes his way back over to you, holding a pack out to Harper. “Ready?”

She nods and takes it, before he holds the second one out to Monty. Monty, however, makes no move towards the pack, still devastated by the loss of the hydrofarm and the thought that he has to march to a war he doesn’t want to fight. Bellamy switches the pack to his other hand and offers his hand to Monty instead. “Come on, the rest of our family's waiting.”

Monty looks up at him, their gazes locked, before he finally reaches out and grabs Bellamy's hand. Bellamy pulls him to his feet and hands him the pack, and you turn and grab his pack from the ground beside you. He takes it with a nod of thanks before you finally grab yours, salvaged with a few forgotten things from your tent, and then you turn and follow Bellamy, the two of you the last people marching out of Polis, heading straight into a war, finally going home. 

-

next chapter

[amarienne]

It’s been two days. My blood still boils when I think of all the lost potential. (ramblings regarding how out of character the finale was)

Never before has an episode of any show, or a chapter of any book, or a scene of any movie has made me so upset. There is rage inside of me and the question of ‘how can a writer betray his own characters like this’.

(huge post following.)

I was not a hardcore destiel shipper. When I first started watching SPN a few years ago I knew of the ship but I thought that there was no chance in Hell a show like this would make it canon. And if we had never gotten 15x18 and some parts of 15x20 maybe I would be a tiny bit happier with how the finale went.

But the biggest mistake they did was give us the confession scene and not only that but echo it in Dean's actions in 15x19.

'That's not who I am'

This line keeps coming back to me because literally two episodes ago we saw Dean willing to sacrifice himself, Jack and even Sam so Chuck would disappear. He was red with rage and he didn't care for anything else apart winning. Let's not forget the thing that made him stop for a minute was Cas questioning Sam on why they should not go ahead with the plan. [Oh, there are plenty to be said for the only angel in all the universes that didn't just 'follow orders' after 'gripping him tight and raising him from perdition' but I won't go into that here.]

And sure, all that was Chuck's writing, but wasn't everything?

So what I am trying to say is that in three consecutive episodes we see:

-Dean full of anger and rage and ready to do anything to win -Dean giving up, losing hope after being cornered -Dean and TFW (minus Cas) finally overpower Chuck and walk away peacefully

So what changed? What made Dean walk away redifining himself as something different than the 'ultimate killer'?

Castiel. Of course, Castiel. The confession was so precious not only because Cas professed his love for Dean. No. It was vital to the plot of the next episode. And that was because before Cas utterred 'I love you' he spoke of how he sees Dean. How the way he sees himself is not the way Cas and the rest of the world sees him. How everything he has ever done, good and bad, was for love. Only for love. Not winning, not gaining power or wealth or recognition. But for love. At that moment Dean sees himself as Cas sees him, and it leaves him struck, speechless. Dean, who always had a snarky line ready is in awe trying to understand the words he is hearing.

And then, after everything is done and dusted we see Dean say 'That's not who I am' mirroring Cas' final words. The words he spent I don't know how much time sitting on the floor against the wall thinking about and crying. Noone else had gotten across to Dean like that, not even Sam. And we see that he started adopting Cas' image of him, believing it to be true. Or starting to.

Dean Winchester overpowered the ultimate villain and chose to stay true to Cas' image of him instead of taking revenge for Chuck screwing him over all his life.

This is poetic and heartbreaking, especially knowing Cas is gone. Not having Dean talk about the confession in 15x19 makes sense. We see glimpses of him numb at the loss, mourning Cas, wanting him back. We see the hope in his face when he thinks he is back. All these things make sense for 15x19, and even though we were sad we had to wait for the next episode hoping to see something tangible (aka the week we all clowned) I was content. The battle was done, the main plot was wrapped up. All was left was to see where all this last minute huge (especially for Dean) character progression and self acceptance would end up.

And then fucking 15x20 happens. It is like the writers threw in a cardboard box all the above points and details and threw it in the ocean. Nothing, absolutely nothing after the first 5 minutes makes sense in this fucking episode!

The montage at the beginning filled me with warmth and happiness. Dean (and Sam) are having a normal morning. Dean looks happy, he is eating, not depicted as overly drinking and most of all he has Miracle. He is focusing his love and affection on another living being. Sweet and warm. He plans to spend the afternoon eating pie with his brother. Goofy and light. The man deserves it for a bit.

But then we get the mention of Cas from Sam and we see how Dean reacts. How can Dean, who was sobbing on the floor and was demanding Cas to be brought back basically an episode ago keep an emotionless face and brush it off. We get the line 'If we don't keep living all that sacrifice was for nothing'. So we are meant to believe that right now Dean is not particularly bothered with Cas' death because it was a sacrifice to save the world. At this point a dread is starting to fill me.

Um, if it was the first time Cas was dying I would understand this. We have seen Dean broken over Cas' death before multiple times under more peaceful circumstances. Dean wouldn't leave Purgatory without Cas and you are trying to convince me after gaining true free will and finally writing his own story Dean would not break every cosmic rule to bring Cas back? Even if he did not reciprocate romantic feelings? This is the textbook definition of out of character in my eyes. Screw the romantic aspect because we ship it. Strip all the glances, touches and sexy lines we enjoy to gif and think back to feed the good ship Destiel, forget about it.

Keep the core of their relationship- the '3rd Winchester brother' who has stuck through thin and thick with them for the past 12 years. You mean to tell me Dean would be happy leaving Cas in the Empty and continue living his life? How is that possible? How is that Dean? How is it possible that we would not see Dean at least trying?

And then 20 minutes later comes the complete opposite of the line Dean wants to stick by. 'If we don't keep living all that sacrifice was for nothing'

But Dean does not keep living, does he? He doesn't grow happy or old. He doesn't start a family or open a bar or learn to dance. He doesn't honour Cas' sacrifice. He dies in the most unimaginitive way. And it is cruel. So cruel.

Dean went from having the strong belief that he would die young on a hunt fighting a monster, saving someone, machete and gun in his hand to starting to accept there is more to him than killing things.

And this fucking episode did a full backtrack and what did it give us?

Dean dying young on a hunt fighting a monster, saving two kids, machete and gun in his hand.

We got Dean dying in a way that gave us a 10 minute speech on how much he loves Sam. We got Dean dying in pain, scared and terrified. We got Dean getting a hunter's funeral with only Sam attending. We saw at Mary's funeral how a hunter's goodbye should look like. Room full of friends, mementos and alcohol. And Dean doesn't get any of that to honour his life.

How can he deserve that? How is it possible?

Even with Heaven 2.0 now being this trully idyllic place how can this be what Dean deserves?

And Sam... Sam gets to grow old in pain and regret. One foot on Earth with his family, one foot ready to follow Dean. Did anyone think Sam looked happy in that montage? Leaving the only home he shared with Dean? Presumably giving up his hunter friends, not even playing a 'Bobby' kind of role? Keeping the Impala in a dusty garage?

Jack... Jack who said he would be hands off, but how am I supposed to believe this would include his family? And even if he didn't heal/save Dean you mean to tell me he wouldn't be there for Sam? I am thinking of Jack appearing after Dean dies, supporting Sam's weight as he collapses, explaining why he can't bring him back. Standing next to Sam as Dean's body is burning.

And Cas... Cas who finally told Dean his truth and then sacrificed himself, content. Cas was saved from the Empty. No longer in eternal sleep sufferring. Working with Jack to rebuild Heaven. And... what? Cas who made Earth his true home, who was talking through tears how he loved the whole world through loving Dean, chose to stay in Heaven? Not stepping in Earth? Not getting in contact with the brothers? Waiting for them to die to talk to them again? And even when Dean dies he is not there to welcome him along with Jack? How is that possible?

We had gotten to know these characters so well over the past 15 seasons. How can the writers give us such a finale, so OOC for all three of them?

How can we not get a scene with Dean and Cas after the last two episodes?

Why have the confession, why have this be Cas' true moment of happines?

Why have the prayer in Purgatory a few episodes back?

Why have Dean break down in a way he has never broken down before?

What is the point of all this if there will be no climax? Even if it is the tiniest nudge, a couple words and a hug.

It makes absolutely no fucking sense. Up until now it felt like all roads, all plot points were converging to one- happiness, peace, love and family.

But no. We got a finale that would make sense 15 years ago. 15 seasons worth of character development and relationship building (not just Destiel, but Sam + Eileen, Jody, Donna and the girls, Charlie and so many others) and we got a finale that basically had Dean die so Sam could have a family.

As others have said here in tumblr Dean and Sam's lives on Earth would end up being exactly the same they ended up being if Dean did not go to get Sam that night.

How can a writer choose this fate for their characters? Why explore everything we watched on our screens, if on the last episode you decide to press delete on 15 seasons and basically deliver episode 1 if something had gone wrong and Dean died?

It makes no sense! It makes no sense regressing your characters 15 years and taking out of them all the experiences, especially those of the past few episodes.

You strip them into their season 1 selves. You strip them from all the layers of friendships, relationships, pain, experience and wisdom they went through and you strip them down to just two broken brothers, sticking together hunting things and saving people til the end. Which yes, they were.

But that was not all they were. Supernatural was a show about the family you make, not the family you get dealt with. Sam and Dean MADE the choice of sticking together. Yes they were brothers, but we know how easy it would have been to lead very different lives which would resulted in never seeing each other. They chose to stick together and they chose to build a family based on love, not blood.

And we got nothing of that legacy.

Is is unfair and it betrays not us, the fans, but the characters.

And that's what's hurting most.

[ashenhawk]

Headcannons for the seven obey me brothers on what they will do if their MC was heart broken from a recent fail relationship?

Hey my friend! ^^ I’m so sorry I took so long with this! I hope its to your liking. c’:

Lucifer: 

Even demons as mighty as Lucifer know that a broken heart is nothing to scoff at. His heart was broken when Lilith died, and while its not really the same situation... the pain he still feels in his heart makes him care for you.

While he’s unsure what he can do to help, and he isn’t sure how to approach the subject of comforting them, you know that he cares deep down by the sad look he gets when you bring it up. 

He may seem like a sadist through and through but wishes to find a way to help you heal. 

His surprisingly gentle touch and genuine words touch your heart in a way you didn’t know Lucifer could do. He’s... slow, soft, never pushing you to hurry up and move on.

Lucifer’s patience helps you heal, even before you realize that he is helping you in part because he’s in love with you. In time, with his support, having him there helps you to feel less sad and alone.

And in time as well, you fall for him. When you tell him your feelings he asks you if you’re really ready. You tell him you are; after all, you have him by your side now!

Mammon:

He’s not too sure how to comfort you, not in the slightest. 

Of course he cares about you! You’re... you, the lowly human who manages to melt the heart of the great Mammon! But how does he show you that without being pushy or coming across as soft or weak?

His attempts start off in a very “Mammon-y” sort of way, saying things like “just forget bout that bastard, MC!” or “they’re not worth your time anyway, they’re the lowest scum!” 

The gesture is kind in meaning, but a bit of a harsh way to help someone whose heart is genuinely broken. You appreciate his help, obviously, but you can’t just forget about your ex.

Eventually Mammon realizes he’s not doing much for your sake by being stubborn about speaking openly. 

He speaks up one day, in a more serious tone than usual, and even though his face is red and his words are a bit stuttery, he manages to get out a genuine speech to you. 

He tells you how much YOU are worth, and not just in comparison to your ex but in general. To him, you’re worth ... so much. And he hates seeing you hurting over some bastard who didn’t deserve you. 

In the end he steers off course and adds a quiet mumble about how clearly, if you’re going to date again, you gotta choose someone great. Someone... y’know... someone like Mammon!

Leviathan:

Levi himself isn’t all that familiar with real life heartbreak. He’s gotten plenty of hearbreaking endings in dating sims but he’s not familiar with how heart wrenching the real thing is.

He’s got a lot of empathy for video game characters, though, and he feels real sadness when he gets his heart broken in a game, so he tries to draw on that for an example and then multiplies that by 14, figuring that his sadness times fourteen would be approximately what a real break up would be.

And... oh. Wow. That feels horrible just to think about.

Levi wants to reassure you that you’ll be able to move on but he’s unsure what to actually say. So, instead, he offers you distractions. Anytime you seem sad he invites you to play a game with him or watch a show together or just hang out. 

His priority is to make sure you don’t feel alone. He texts you frequently, asking how you feel. He even tells you that you can vent to him if you need. He doesn’t say much back, but he listens.

In the end Levi doesn’t admit to you that he loves you, though. He’s too afraid of pushing the subject, of it being too soon, of you rejecting him, of him experiencing heartbreak from that rejection, “oh god that’s horrifying I can’t tell MC I can’t I can’t I can’t --”, and it escalates until he’s jealous of your ex and angry at them for hurting you but angry at himself for not speaking up but aaahhhhhhhh -----!

But even without words the feelings are clear. Your time with Levi is so, so special. He’s one of a kind.

Satan:

When he finds out that you were hurt he’s angry. Satan is so, so pissed off that someone would dare break your heart! They must be worse scum than Mammon to do such a thing.

He offers to kill your ex. You tell him not to but he just barely holds back.

When that initial anger goes away he focuses his energy on helping you. He doesn’t really know what to say or do specifically but he tries his best. 

When you’re down he texts you cat memes. It becomes a tradition that anytime you’re feeling sad you’ll get a cute cat pic sent to you. Eventually, he’s sent too many for you to keep saving all the pictures.

Even though you said not to kill your ex, Satan still has something similar to daydreams where he kills the asshole in various manners to make them pay for hurting you. He gets a terrifying smile on his face whenever this happens.

Satan knows that he wants you to be happy but it takes him a while to realize he’s in love with you, and that that’s why he feels so strongly about this. When he does realize... all bets are off. He’s determined to win you over, not just because he loves you but because he knows he would never ever break your heart in such a way.

Starts sending you memes of cats snuggling with captions like “this could be us haha jk unless”. It always brings a smile to your face! 

Beelzebub:

He hates seeing you hurt/sad. When you’re crying or sorrowful, it makes him hurt too.

Beel is there for you as a friend first and foremost. Because he doesn’t know what to say, his actions speak louder than words.

He’s so big and strong that his presence is comforting on its own but he takes it to another level with the way he’ll pat your head or scoop you up and hug you to comfort you.

Any time you need someone to talk to he wants to hear you out. He listens to you intently. He cares, deeply, honestly, completely.

And even though he can’t think of a big speech to make that’ll make you feel better he’s open about that care he has for you. He directly tells you he wants you to be happy and that he’s on your side.

If your sadness doesn’t ease, Beel starts to worry about you so much that he loses his appetite. He tells this to Belphie, which is what makes his twin brother realize that Beel loves you more than he’s probably aware.

Beel tells you that if you ever need someone to defend you against your ex in any way, he and his muscles are at your service.

Reassuring hugs from Beel slowly change to reassuring kisses. Your hurt diminishes without any grand gesture... just Beel and his support.

Belphegor:

The sleepy demon is pissed beyond words to hear about your heart break. While he’s given up on killing all humans of course, he would certainly make an exception for your ex.

He doesn’t take it quite as far as Satan does but his anger is crystal clear.

Belphie finds naps healing and offers to let you use him as a pillow.

(I have a personal headcanon that all of the demons have a power related to their sin and Belphie’s is the ability to help people have a peaceful sleep + sweet dreams, so he’d absolutely put that to use)

He tells you that if you want, you never have to go back to the human world and be around that person again. You can stay there and live happily, peacefully, in your own world with him and Beel.

Asmodeus:

He’s had so many partners and broken so many hearts that he actually can’t comprehend the matter. Why not just move on? There’s plenty of lovely people out there to take your mind off your ex - Asmo himself, for example! So... why are you still so sad...?

Even though Asmodeus doesn’t get it, he does at least understand that you are hurting and that he wants to help you. 

He tries offering himself as a replacement but that doesn’t help things; you’re not ready to move on, especially not just for a friend with benefits situation.

Asmodeus is very driven by lust and much of his attempts to help so far have come from that. So when Asmo realizes he needs to take another approach and makes a genuine effort to speak seriously and honestly around you, that alone is enough to show he cares deeply.

When he reassures you that everything will be okay and that you’ll love again without pain, the sympathy he feels is earnestly presented.

His brothers realize he’s in love with you before he does, since he’s not used to that “real” love emotion. They can tell clearly from how he holds back from making lewd comments to you that might bring back hurt feelings.

When Asmo starts acting more like a friend in this way, ironically that’s what makes you start to like him back. You see another side of him with the way he tries to help heal you.